Sweet Prince and Maiden Fair
by BrilliantDarkness
Summary: After many requests, it is time to return to the land of Spencer and Maggie. Advise to read the other stories in this world for better understanding. This story picks up after the honeymoon and goes from there. How far? Not sure yet. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

**And now dear constant readers, welcome back to the wonderful world of Spencer and Maggie. There have been multiple requests for more of their continuing adventures. I hope this meets with the approval of my lovely friends and readers. As always, I welcome (i.e., crave) feedback!!-J**

"We've only just begun to live  
White lace and promises  
A kiss for luck and we're on our way."-The Carpenters 'We've Only Just Begun'

The darkness of the early morning was disturbed by the headlights of a taxi pulling in front of the quiet Queen Anne styled home. From the back of the cab climbed a tall, slender man. He stretched slightly before extending a hand to aid the dark haired woman from the vehicle. They shared a tender kiss before the man collected the luggage from the curb where the driver had set it before driving away. The two were obviously weary as they walked to the front door of the home. He unlocked the door and she moved as if to walk in.

"No, no, no…that's not how this works."

"You aren't really going to try that are you?"

"Do you think I'm not capable of carrying my bride over the threshold of our home?"

Before she could respond, he awkwardly and with some difficulty scooped her up and took the two steps into the house before setting her back down with a bit of a sigh.

"You're heavier than you look Dr. Reid."

"All the more to make me impressed with your manly prowess Dr. Reid."

At this Maggie threw her head back and laughed in that way that she had that righted even the most unbalanced of Spencer's days. He found himself overcome with a sense of warmth at the knowledge that he would forever be in on the joke and he laughed too. He couldn't help but glance at the gold band on his left ring finger. He found himself doing that often as if he had to verify that this all was real, that he was in fact a married man, married to Maggie. In his wildest dreams he hadn't ever allowed a thought of anything this wonderful happening to him.

Their laughter was interrupted by Barrett and Browning demanding attention. Garcia had been looking in on the cats while they were in Italy for their honeymoon but they clearly had missed Mom and Dad.

"Hey babies, Mama missed you. Yes she did."

Spencer found himself laughing once again at Maggie baby talking at the cats. True, he loved those cats and often talked to them but not like she did. And it was even more amusing to him that she didn't talk to human babies like that. He had seen her with Henry and she spoke to him as a person. Her explanation was that babies learn to talk from being talked to and if you talk to them properly then they learn to speak properly. She further argued that the cats weren't going to learn to speak English or any other human tongue for that matter and therefore it didn't matter as much. Perfectly logical and rational, he had to admit but it still made him laugh.

"Are you laughing at me, sir knight?"

"Would you believe me if I said 'no'?"

"Of course not, it was more of a rhetorical question. But I dare say our babies missed us."

"I believe they did. Should we have brought them something from our trip?"

It was Maggie's turn to laugh at Spencer's silliness.

"You do know that they are not human children, right dear? I think if I open a can of tuna they'll forget we were even gone."

"I think you underestimate them. They may forgive us with tuna but I don't think they forget anything."

"You are paranoid, my prince. They are cats. I realize that Siamese have some very human-like traits but they are purely feline."

Once the tuna was opened and placed in front of the happy kitties, Maggie yawned.

"This probably won't help me get back on track from the jet lag but I am tired and have to get to bed."

"You don't think you're going there alone, do you?"

"What ever are you asking?"

Maggie batted her eyelashes in the most innocent expression that she could conjure.

"I believe I am actually stating that you will not be going to bed alone because I could never allow my maiden fair to be alone the first night back from her honeymoon."

"And just what are you going to do about it?"

"I'll come up with something."

This elicited the desired giggle from Maggie. Few in the world who had ever met Spencer Reid would guess that he had such a playful side although many could attest to his dry sense of humor. Maggie might be the only person on earth who knew how silly he could be or the delight he took in being so. She thought to herself, and not for the first time either, what a wonderful father he could be and then she cursed her defective reproductive system. That thought was removed with the sudden presence of his arms grabbing her around the waist as she tried to climb the stairs and the addition of his lips to her neck removed all capability of thought on her part. Suddenly she was not so terribly tired and it seemed her prince, her husband, wasn't either.

Morning found the newlyweds sitting at the kitchen table bleary eyed.

"Tell me again why I am up again after only three hours of sleep."

"I told you Maggie, you have to get your body back on the schedule of the correct time zone and this is the quickest way to do it."

"You know I am going to be unbearably grouchy today, right?"

"I do and I don't care because I love you anyway."

"God, you're annoying."

"And you're beautiful."

"Spencer, your cute is wearing very thin right now."

"So, to change the subject, I thought I'd look into gazebos for the backyard. That is if you still want to put one out there."

Maggie was suddenly more alert and awake.

"You know I do, I only talk about it constantly and yes, I know how trying that can be."

"Gazebo shopping is a go for today then?"

"Thundercats are go! I can't wait to have our first summer party with our beautiful gazebo out back."

And Spencer sat there for a while transfixed by the faraway look in her eyes where he could almost see the decorated backyard filled with friends and family and his lovely wife being the perfect hostess as always.


	2. Chapter 2

**Since the last of these stories started with such drama, I thought this one should start off a bit fluffier. Do not worry, there will be enough drama to have you all yelling at me. And for those following the adventures of Derek and Claire, I will finish that...eventually.-J**

"I once had a girl or should I say, she once had me."-The Beatles 'Norwegian Wood'

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"Spencer please tell me you're going to call the guys to help you build that thing."

"Is milady implying that I lack the necessary skills for gazebo building?"

"No! She dares not, lest she be not so subtly reminded—once again—of the engineering doctorate that her knight possesseth."

"Maggie some days I am convinced that you're just a pile of crazy in a dress."

"I am but I have a method to my madness. You see, sir knight, if you ask for help, then you'll have this done in one weekend, two tops. And I can get on to the business of planning garden parties. But if you insist on being a stubborn mule about this then you'll be out here most of the summer any time you aren't working and you'll not have time for the really important things like making love to me."

"You know Maggie, there are sacrifices to be made in married life. Do you want non-stop, passionate sex or a gazebo?"

Maggie stepped closer to Spencer. She was close enough to watch his pulse quicken in his jugular in response to her proximity. She traced with her fingers up and down his chest and leaned in close to him so that he could feel her breath hot on his neck. She smiled at the increase in his respiration and then she whispered huskily into his ear.

"In the immortal words of Freddie Mercury, 'I want it all'."

With that she pulled back from him leaving him feeling her absence as if she had actually been in physical contact with him. Off she flounced swishing her hips as she went. About halfway up the stairs, she paused and looked over her shoulder and shot him what could only be described as a come hither look. Spencer did not need to be asked twice. Damn that woman had him trained. She hadn't even said anything and here he was climbing the stairs but then he had to figure that few heterosexual men pass up sex with a beautiful woman and whether they would or not, he sure the hell wasn't about to.

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Later Spencer found himself basking in the warmth of his wife, holding her body still damp with sweat tight to his. He nestled into her hair and kissed the top of her head whispering, "I love you" into the tangled tresses. She cooed lightly into his chest and sighed contentedly.

"Isn't this much better than every minute of every weekend in the backyard by yourself with your tools?"

"Much. Do you think it will be tough to get the guys to help?"

"Not at all, tell them there will be beer and I'm cooking."

"I think I might end up with half the bureau here if I do that."

"The more helpers, the faster the job is done and the more time you get to spend in bed with me."

"You have a devious little mind, you know that?"

"Are you just now picking up on that?"

"No, but I am noticing how well Ms. Barrett has acquired her mommy's gift for subtlety."

He gestured to the cat who was sitting on the end of the bed looking most annoyed at the lack of attention being paid to her. Once they looked at her, she quickly looked away as if she didn't care whether they noticed her or not and then meowed loudly and jumped off of the bed and headed out the door. Spencer looked over at Maggie.

"They haven't had their treat yet today, have they?"

"Nope, do you want to do it or do you want me to?"

"I will if you promise to stay here just like you are until I get back."

"I'll promise but what happens when you get back?"

"Stop playing dumb…you should know by now I'll never buy it."

At this Maggie's eyes sparkled and she giggled and that giggle that once consumed her very being, now consumed Spencer as well and that made it harder to want to leave the bedroom. But he knew that Barrett would be back and she would bring reinforcements if he wasn't in the kitchen opening a can of something fish flavored very soon. So he pulled his pants back on and padded down the stairs into the kitchen where two very upset felines greeted him loudly.

"You two do realize you are interrupting Mommy & Daddy time? I know you probably think there has been too much of that and not enough kitty time but you see for newlyweds, there needs to be a whole lot of this sort of time and we don't have much more before I go back to work. I know you don't care but I would appreciate you keeping the interruptions to a minimum for the rest of the weekend. You're not even listening, are you?"

No they weren't. They were both happily inhaling the fish or seafood or whatever it was and paying him no mind at all. He had served his purpose and had been dismissed. He sighed and then turned and nearly ran back up the stairs to find Maggie still where he had left her and still naked. Of course he shouldn't have been surprised. That woman was not one to break a promise and oh, was he grateful for that at the moment.

"I must admit to feeling a bit awkward here with you all clothed and whatnot."

Spencer stared at her and then realized what the look in her eyes was telling him…to drop his pants and he did. He thought, and not for the first time, that he should feel weird about this, that it was still too fast for all of this to have happened and that it was ridiculous that he was so at ease with being exposed but he was at ease. At ease enough to just climb into bed without really giving it any further thought and take Maggie into his arms.

"Why Dr. Reid, I do believe you're happy to see me."

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	3. Chapter 3

**This chapter marks an effort on my part to keep consistency in this world I have created. If anyone has not read the story 'Shot at Redemption' featuring Morgan and Claire, it might help in the understanding of this and future chapters. And for the fans of that piece, I will finish it...eventually-J**

"I've been awake for a while now  
You've got me feelin' like a child now  
Cause every time I see your bubbly face  
I get the tingles in a silly place."-Colbie Caillat 'Bubbly'

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Spencer and Maggie were both breathing heavily as Maggie collapsed to his chest still trembling from the rush of pleasure from their latest round of lovemaking.

"You know Maggie, I'm told the novelty wears off after a while."

"You mean sex? Or the novelty of each other?"

"Both are what I have heard."

"Well whoever told you that must be doing it wrong. I could never tire of feeling like this. Or maybe we're the ones who are doing it wrong."

"If we are making errors somewhere, I think we shouldn't correct them."

"Agreed. Do you think at any point we should do something else besides this?"

"Probably we should. Did you have any specific ideas?"

"No I don't my prince."

She nuzzled her head into his chest and breathed in deeply soaking in the smell of sex and sweat and of Spencer. Then something seemed to occur to her and she propped her chin onto his chest to look him in the eye.

"Say, have you heard anything from Derek? Are he and Claire still dating?"

"As far as I know they are. I'll ask when I get back to work. And you could give Claire a call if you are that curious."

"You know I will. Do you mind terribly spying for me?"

"Not at all, I am kind of wondering myself. I think it would be good for Morgan to settle down a little bit and Claire might just be the one to tame him."

"Like I tamed you?"

"I don't think you tamed me dear maiden, I think if anything you emboldened me."

"I guess every man needs something different."

"Not just men, I like to think I have been good for you in some way or another."

"Indeed you have been. To put it in terms more familiar to you, my poems gave me theories about love and beauty. You came along and proved every one of them. You restored my faith in everything. No, that's not right. You can't restore what was never there. You built my faith from the ground up. Oh my sweet prince, I thought every love story I had ever heard was a fairy tale until, like Prince Charming you came and kissed me from my slumber."

"So which one of your parents was the wicked witch that put you under the spell?"

"Both of them. See I had it worse than the Grimm brothers ever imagined. I had two villains working against me and neither one was the proverbial step-parent…they were the biological ones. But never mind them now because I have my love and we can live happily ever after."

"Something kind of bothers me about that…those stories never really elaborate on that happily ever after, do they?"

"Grimm brothers don't but if you look at the real stories, they do. Look at Robert and Elizabeth. Did you forget all that you learned while we were in Italy?"

"You sort of bombarded me with information. I know now why people are always shushing me. But really, you know I can't forget any of it. Is that what happily ever after looks like?"

"It can be. Do you really think Derek can be tamed?"

"Anything is possible. You know we talked before the wedding and at that time he and Claire still hadn't, um…"

Maggie burst into laughter so that she could barely speak.

"Spencer, we just spent the entire day having sex and you can't even say the words. That is so classically you. God I love you!"

"I'm glad that my shyness amuses you."

"Spencer Reid, you are anything but shy and it's not like you are in front of a room of strangers. You are in bed with your wife. And really? They really hadn't slept together at that point? They had been dating what a month?"

"Closer to two. I told him he had been enough of a gentleman and if his feelings were reciprocated by her that he should go for it."

"So you gave Derek Morgan relationship advice?"

"Yeah I guess I did. How weird is that?"

"I don't know. How did big brother take that?"

"Actually he seemed glad to be able to talk about it. I think even though he'll always be older and see me as a kid brother, he doesn't think of me as a kid anymore. You know what I mean?"

"I do. I never got any details about their relationship but I could tell that Claire was very happy and I had a feeling it was because of Derek."

"I'll find out on Monday."

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Monday morning Spencer returned to work and he had been thinking steadily of how to ask Morgan about Claire without sounding snoopy. He went to his desk and sat down his bag before turning to head toward a cup of coffee and instead coming face to face with Morgan, of all people. Before Spencer could even ask anything about Claire or even think how to go about asking about Claire, Morgan was grilling him about his wedding night. Yeah, that would be a night spent on an airplane so it was hardly the most passion-filled wedding night in history. Finally Spencer got across to Morgan that his marriage had indeed been consummated, repeatedly. Thankfully that was enough and he was spared the embarrassment of having to go into detail about how the two had barely made it to the bed in the hotel room before clothes were shed and things were hotter and heavier than he could ever have imagined. Apparently getting married and being surprised with her own personal dream romantic honeymoon was the way to a woman's heart as well as other parts of her anatomy. But the point was that all of that was none of Derek Morgan's business and he was glad it could stay with just Maggie and him. It soon became apparent that Morgan wasn't really at his desk to grill him about the honeymoon as Derek asked him to lunch and it was obvious he needed to talk about something and it was further evident that something was Claire. Spencer gladly accepted the lunch invitation and spent part of the morning wondering what had Morgan so flustered acting. His wondering was cut short by the clicking of high heels and the jingling of bangle bracelets approaching him. That could only be Garcia bearing down on his desk. He didn't figure she needed much of a rundown of his honeymoon as she and Maggie had become good friends. Hell, she had been Maggie's maid of honor so if there was anything she wanted to know, she would have already called Maggie and asked. Spencer turned as Garcia neared and gave her a big smile as she threw her arms around him.

"We missed you around here, kiddo. Come with me, we need to talk."

And with that, Reid found himself being dragged into the bright and eccentric world of Penelope Garcia.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Again, a good portion of this chapter is for the purpose of keeping continuity in my little fantasy land. Please tell me how you all think this is shaping up.-J**

"Never saw the sun shining so bright  
Never saw things going so right  
Noticing the days hurrying by  
When you're in love, my how they fly."-Irving Berlin 'Blue Skies'

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"Please tell me I'm not about to get grilled on my honeymoon again."

"Oh did Morgan get to you today? Well, I'm not going to do anything like that to you. It would upset my little Magpie if I made you talk about that. I will only ask if Italy is as beautiful as I've heard."

"Oh it is lovely but I was thoroughly distracted by my tour guide. Now she was some kind of beautiful."

"You are such a good boy, Reid. I really wanted to fill you in on the good juicy stuff that's been going on while you were gone."

"Tell me this is about Morgan. Maggie wants me to get the dirt and Morgan wants to have lunch together and I think it's all about Claire."

"Oh it is…our favorite playboy is now a one woman man and he is head over heels for that woman."

"So are they finally together? I mean, well you know what I mean."

"I do and they are. And if you can believe it he said the words first."

"Wow. That is something. Is he going to ask me for advice?"

"I think so. He's a little confused and I think he needs to talk it out with someone. You've got the healthiest relationship here so I guess you're it."

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Reid contemplated Garcia's words all the way to meeting Morgan for lunch. He guessed that he did have the healthiest relationship of the team. Well, J.J. and Will seemed to be doing well but then maybe Morgan didn't want to talk to a woman about this and that might be part of the reason he wouldn't go to Garcia. Well there was that and the fact that Kevin worked at the FBI too and knew the details of the job. Hotch's marriage was over even before Haley died and since her murder, no one really wanted to bring it up to him. Most days he still seemed only pasted together. Rossi had been married three times so Reid guessed he was an expert at something but it wasn't anything useful to making a relationship work. So that left Reid and Spencer marveled that he would be the last man standing in this category but here he was a newlywed and that was newly wed to the most amazing woman in the world. So he sat down with Morgan and felt pretty pleased with himself that he was the one Morgan could and would come to for advice. And he had a little fun with Morgan in the process but he did stay serious enough to give what he thought was good advice and Morgan seemed to feel a little better afterward.

Reid spent the rest of the day feeling pretty damned good about himself. And he felt normal. He knew that on some level, he'd always be a little strange to some but he was married and owned a home and had a job that he liked and where he was respected. He had friends and pets and, speaking of friends, he'd better set to asking if anyone was free this weekend to help with the gazebo building. He decided to ask Rossi first and he wasn't sure why exactly but he did.

"Come in," was the response when Reid knocked on the door of his office.

"Hey Reid, how was the honeymoon?"

Spencer scrutinized the elder agent's face and saw that he wasn't asking about bedroom activities but just being a good and interested friend. And really, he was probably interested in what they had thought of Italy as Rossi was Italian and had traveled there many times.

"It was beautiful. We're hoping to go back to Italy at some point."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Now what was it you wanted to see me about?"

"Well, when we moved into the house I sort of promised Maggie a gazebo in the backyard so I was um, wondering, um…"

"You need a few extra hands to wield hammers?"

"Yeah," Spencer sighed very relieved that there didn't seem to be an ounce of irritation from Rossi. Maggie had told him that this was the sort of thing that friends do for each other and they wouldn't think anything of it but Reid had worried that he was imposing.

"Um, we'll have beer there and Maggie said to tell everyone that she'll be cooking."

"Say no more, kid. To be honest, I'd have said yes anyway but for free beer and Maggie's cooking, I'm definitely in."

Reid thanked his colleague and had to admit that it felt good to hear that Rossi would have been there to help without the enticement of refreshments. He shouldn't doubt Maggie. And now that his confidence was bolstered, he went in search of the rest of the team. He had no doubt at all that Morgan would say yes and even Hotch was in as he knew that Jack could spend time with Maggie. J.J. called Will who gladly volunteered and Garcia volunteered on behalf of Kevin saying that he wouldn't mind and Reid had the thought cross his mind that Kevin hadn't better get upset unless he wanted that dervish of a technical analyst after him. Once again Maggie was right. With this many people all lending a hand; they'd have the gazebo finished in no time.

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Walking up to the house, Reid found Maggie sitting on the porch swing with her nose in a book and at first he thought that she hadn't heard him pull in the drive as she hadn't moved a muscle and just as he was about to announce himself, she spoke.

"Dinner's not ready yet, have a seat, my prince and tell me about your day."

She looked up at his stunned expression and a wide smile spread across her face.

"Those cats are getting pretty talented. They stole your tongue without you even entering the house."

Spencer settled next to Maggie on the swing and rolled his eyes.

"You really are some kind of crazy, you know that?"

"I do and did you follow through on your mission Agent Reid?"

"He told her he loves her and they had sex and he asked for my advice today at lunch."

"Wow. We missed a lot. What did you tell him?"

"The best advice I ever got…what you told me. I told him to not think and just feel."

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	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again constant readers. I'm working toward something here...probably will be pretty evident what as you read this chapter. Hopefully this direction will bring joy. Let me know if you approve.-J**

"There is a young cowboy, he lives on the range.  
His horse and his cattle are his only companions.  
He works in the saddle and he sleeps in the canyons  
Waiting for summer his pastures to change."-James Taylor 'Sweet Baby James'

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It was a typical and one might even say boring day at the BAU. Paperwork had been the order of the day and there wasn't a member of the team that wasn't already starting to think beyond the workday. Even Spencer Reid, who usually found his work quite fascinating, was beginning to count the minutes until the end of the day. He looked at his watch once more and sighed. He knew that it wasn't possible for time to actually speed or slow but he also knew that perception had a lot to do with things. It was Dr. Einstein after all who had explained relativity by relating how sitting on a hot stove for a minute would feel like an hour and sitting next to a pretty girl for an hour would seem like a minute. And now he found himself adding to Einstein's example by noting that 10 minutes of boring paperwork could surely feel like three or four hours. Oh well, only two more hours and he would be on his way home to Maggie. Normally that would have made it better but it really only made the two hours sound even longer. So Spencer decided to try to focus on his work. He had no sooner bent over his desk again when he heard Hotch's voice call out that he needed his agents in the conference room.

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The team had dutifully assembled for a briefing from J.J. and they all looked up to the screen to the sight of dead women. J.J. quickly filled them in on the particulars.

"Toledo, Ohio."

At this alone, she paused. The team had not been to Ohio since the Stanley Karsten case, the case where they lost Reid and got him back broken. Her glance quickly went to the young man who just sat looking completely unaffected by this news. He truly was a different person since meeting Maggie. There was an assuredness that he could handle anything that life threw his way. So J.J. continued.

"They've had four bodies so far. The victims are women out for a good time at the clubs. The unsub targets two women who are sticking together. One he kills almost immediately and dumps nearby while the other he keeps for close to a week before killing and dumping within a block of her home."

Hotch looked at the pictures and said, "Well, today is Thursday so we'd better get wheels up as soon as possible. Tomorrow will be a big night for the clubs."

The team immediately left the room to gather their things and head for the airstrip. Morgan was standing next to Reid's desk when Hotch approached him.

"Morgan, I need you to head this up. Jessica can't take Jack right now. She's out of town. I'll join you once she's back."

At first Morgan looked like he wanted to argue that point but he really didn't have anything to say to help Hotch's predicament. But then Spencer did have something to say.

"I'll call Maggie. She's picked Jack up from the sitter's before and she adores him. She's not teaching right now."

Hotch started to protest but Reid shook his head at him and dialed his phone.

"Maggie? I have a little favor to ask of you."

Reid walked away from his colleagues to finish his conversation with his wife. When he returned to his desk, he was smiling.

"Good news, you can go to picturesque Toledo and hunt a psycho and know that your son is safe with my crazy wife."

"Reid, I owe you and Maggie."

"Are you kidding me? She loves that kid. She's so excited to hang out with her buddy. They're working their way through the Iliad."

"Does she know that most kids Jack's age go to sleep to Dr. Seuss?"

"I don't think she cares…don't get me wrong, she loves his poetry too but Jack really likes the epic poems with all of their heroes and monsters."

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Maggie was, in fact delighted to have Jack while the team was away. For one thing, the kid was adorable and she didn't want to meet the person who couldn't fall immediately in love with him. For another, he had such pain inside of him and she knew what it was like to carry pain at that young an age. And the real reason was that Jack would give her a natural distraction from Spencer's absence. Maggie never liked Spencer being away especially knowing how dangerous it could be but if she could immerse herself into something else, school, gardening, decorating, whatever, then it wasn't so bad. She would need the added distraction of Jack now that Spencer was heading back to Ohio. Maggie knew it wasn't the same place in Ohio but still she could not help but flash back to what had happened the last time the team jet took her darling to that state. Not that she could blame the state really but here he was going after another monster there. Even knowing that this monster was after women didn't entirely ease her mind so she was just going to have to throw herself into caring for that sweet little boy as if he were her very own until his father came back.

Her smile was natural as she walked up to the front door of the babysitter's house. This is where Jack was every day after school and Maggie had been here before when she had decided to take Jack on a field trip to the zoo or the park. Suddenly the door flew open and from it sprang a fully charged little boy.

"Maggie! Are we going to go play at the park?"

"Even better short stuff, you get to hang out at my house and we're going to have a sleepover for a couple of days."

"Cool, but don't I have to go home with my dad?"

"No, your dad's on a case right now and Aunt Jessica is out of town so you get to hang out with me. You got your go bag?"

Maggie knew that Jack almost always had a go bag like his dad's in case the team got called away but she had to ask anyway, partly to make sure and partly because she knew it made Jack feel like part of the team.

"You know I always have it."

"Just like your daddy, aren't you?"

Jack just beamed at her.

"So are you going to help me make some Mac & cheese?"

"Can we bake cookies too?"

"What do you think?"

He answered her with a smile that said he knew that answer before he asked the question.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Onward and upward people...this part actually required a little research on my part as I've never, well, you'll get the idea later in the chapter. Let's just say there's a new rollercoaster for our newlyweds to be on and leave it there for now. Please remember to let me know your thoughts.-J**

"I can't stop trying, I can't give up hope because I feel someday I'll hold you near."-Smokey Robinson 'Ooh Ooh Ooh Baby Baby'

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The team was boarding the plane to return home from the case and Spencer was just hanging up his phone.

"Hotch, I just talked to Maggie so she knows we're coming back and Morgan, you should come with us too…if you want to see your girlfriend that is."

"Claire is at your place?"

"You know it's not uncommon for Claire and Maggie to get together when we're away and there's the added attraction to my place this trip."

"Added attraction?"

"Jack."

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Hotch and Morgan followed Reid into the house filled with laughter and music. Following the laughter they found Claire, Maggie and Jack all in the kitchen decorating cookies. Jack was wearing an old shirt of Spencer's that had been relegated to use when he painted the bathroom. There was frosting coating the child and it was obvious that he had put more in his mouth than on the cookies. He spotted his father and started to push himself from the chair but Maggie and Claire were quicker and grabbed him, Claire removing the smock that had been covering his clothing and Maggie snatching up a damp cloth to wipe his face and hands. Once allowed free by the women he bolted to his father and threw his arms around him. Maggie finished boxing up the decorated cookies and handed them over to Hotch.

"He helped measure, cut them out and, decorated them all for you."

Once Maggie and Spencer were alone in the house, he set to helping her clean the frosting mess from the kitchen table. He was scrubbing diligently and wanted to ask Maggie how her three days with Jack went.

"Oh we had a good time. When he wasn't in school, we colored and baked and sang and read. And then Claire called. She still has a hard time with Derek being away so I invited her over. She needed a good distraction from thinking about everything that can go wrong with a case. I understand that need pretty well."

"Sounds like you all did well. Hotch was really grateful for what you did for him."

"I did it as much for me. Jack is a great distraction for me and I know that you are safer with the whole team and that means your fearless leader too."

"I tried to tell him something to that effect but he still kept saying he owed you one."

Maggie was standing at the sink with her back to Spencer rinsing the dishes before loading them into the dishwasher.

"I want a baby."

Spencer stopped scrubbing the table and just stared at her.

"What was that?"

She turned to face him and nervously pushed a piece of hair from her face.

"I want a baby Spencer. We talked to Claire's sister Lily, the OB/GYN and it's not impossible for me to carry a child and-"

"Maggie I was there when we talked about it and I talked to you later that night and you said you weren't ready for all you'd have to go through."

"Well, I'm ready now."

"Sweetheart that was only a couple of weeks ago. What could have possibly changed in that amount of time?"

"It was never that I wasn't ready to have kids, it was just reconciling myself with the procedures I'd have to endure. I have been working on that and thinking if I really can go through with it. Remember we also talked about adoption but I was pretty sure this is how I wanted to try it and then the time with Jack and I had Henry for an afternoon as well…I really want this."

"Well, I haven't been opposed to children since Sonnet. I just don't want you to deal with these procedures unless you are completely certain that it's how you want to go about this."

"I am sure. Lily gave me some names of people she knows in the area that specialize in fertility problems like mine."

Spencer was standing next to his wife analyzing every detail of her demeanor and saw that she was sure, if a little scared looking. He encircled her in his arms and drew her close.

"Make an appointment and I'll be there with you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spencer and Maggie sat in chairs opposite of the doctor's desk and gripped one another's hands desperately. Stealing a glance at his wife, Spencer's heart ached for her knowing that her dream of carrying a child could end right here and now in this little room. He knew it would not end her dream of motherhood but since losing Sonnet, she had seemed to feel an emptiness and a sadness that her uterus was being underutilized.

Dr. Regina Talman had come highly recommended by Lily Turner, Claire's sister who had shared an apartment with Dr. Talman in medical school and also by nearly anyone they encountered who had experienced any sort of infertility. She was a dark skinned woman who wore her hair natural and cropped very short. She was quick to smile and that smile was warm and infectious but she also had a seemingly endless capacity for compassion which undoubtedly served her well in her line of work.

"I know that the two of you have already talked to Lily and seeing two such highly educated people as you are, you have surely read up on this subject so I am going to give the abbreviated version and let you ask questions if you have any. Basically, there is really only one procedure available to you for the purpose of you carrying a child and that is in vitro fertilization. We can look to an egg donor but since you have expressed a desire to have your own biological child if possible, which it should be, we will then look to harvesting your eggs. You will be on a course of medications and hormones which will hopefully cause a larger than typical number of eggs to mature at the same time. Once the eggs have matured, we use an ultrasound guided needle inserted vaginally to extract the eggs from the follicles of your ovaries. Once harvested, your eggs get together in a petrie dish with your husband's sperm and we let the magic happen. At this point we have pre-embryos and those can be implanted into your uterus. This is a fairly simple procedure where we use an external ultrasound to allow us to insert a catheter and literally squirt the embryos into a prime location in your uterine lining for the embryos to attach and continue to develop. And that is the second tricky part. The first is harvesting because sometimes the eggs don't want to mature for us and then the second is that babies do things the way they want to and making sure that they actually stay put and develop as intended well, it's not a sure thing. We typically implant four embryos and even at that number; only 25 percent end up being twins. I will grant you that is a higher number than the national average without a fertility treatment but that still means that nearly three quarters are still single births which should tell you how hard this is going in. Do you have any questions?"

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	7. Chapter 7

**So here we are trying for a little baby Reid! How exciting. I had to do some research because this is far from how my own two came about but I think I got it fairly accurate. apologies to anyone out there who has been through IVF if I got something wrong.-J**

"If I were a carpenter and you were a lady  
Would you marry me anyway,  
Would you have my baby?"-Bobby Darin 'If I Were a Carpenter'

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Spencer turned to Maggie and he knew that he did have questions but most weren't for the doctor. He wanted to see if Maggie had questions.

"So this is possible, right? I could actually carry a baby, our baby?"

"Yes, in fact you are a very good candidate for this. There's nothing to suggest that egg harvesting won't go exactly as planned and there's further nothing to make me think your uterus will give us any problems."

"So when can we get started?"

"Next Wednesday will be day one of your cycle so that's the best time to get going on maturing some eggs."

"Can we still have sex during all if this?"

"Of course, the only stipulation is that we would prefer that Spencer not ejaculate within 48 hours of the procedure. That just gives us the best chance of having the best sperm to work with. Other than that, continue your lives as you normally would. I know the two of you are still relatively newly married."

"Did you have any questions for Dr. Talman Spencer?"

"No I don't. I just want to make sure that you're really up for this."

"Yes, my prince, I am."

Her voice was calm and collected and she looked him in the eyes without waver or hesitation.

"Then I do have one question for you Dr. Talman. What happens if I am away on a case when it is time for the procedure?"

"We can freeze the eggs if need be or we can take your donation early and preserve that, there are many ways around this."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You look stressed kid."

Morgan had just happened by Reid on his way to get s cup of coffee.

"Fertility treatments aren't for sissies, that's for sure."

"Whoa, you and Maggie are trying for a little genius?"

"I'd prefer if you kept it quiet. Maggie's going through a lot right now and nothing is for certain to work. I'm tired, she's tired and I have to give her shots every day."

"So stat man, what are the odds for Maggie?"

"I wish it were that simple. Frankly every fertility center compiles its own data and there are so many factors that influence the potential outcome. Maggie's not as young as some and therefore her odds go down some but we've gotten pregnant before and that increases the chance of success. She has no uterine defects and that is a good thing and I have no abnormalities in my sperm so that helps as well. But another factor is the number of eggs they can harvest and we won't know that for another week. The statistics for IVF success are so dependent on so many things and therefore so easily manipulated that I can't even tell you how her chances are."

"Well, I really hope there's some good news for you soon and for her as well. She deserves it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Are you ready for this my maiden?"

They were driving to Dr. Talman's office to have Maggie's eggs harvested.

"I don't even know if it's possible to be ready for something like this. Can you stay with me while it happens?"

"I talked to the doctor and she said that I could be in the room with you until the extraction was over and then go do my part then."

"Are you nervous? About doing that there?"

"A little but I definitely think I have the easier part of this ordeal."

At the office, the couple was led back to the procedure room and Maggie was sedated to semi-consciousness. True to his word, Spencer stayed right there and held her hand tightly so that she would know at all times that she wasn't alone. Once the procedure was finished, Dr. Talman left to take a look at the result of the harvest. Spencer leaned over his wife's face and kissed her tenderly.

"I have to go for a bit dearest."

She tightened her grip on his hand and pulled him closer to her where she kissed and licked at his neck and nibbled lightly on his earlobe.

"Think of me Sweet Prince and enjoy yourself."

Spencer went from slightly dreading the act of masturbating in a doctor's office, it felt so public, to really needing to get into that room and do something about the reaction that Maggie had stirred within him. Even sedated, she knew what he needed and so often put his needs above her own. And that was why he was here in the first place. Honestly he could have dealt with adopting but he knew his fair maiden wished a biological child and so he injected her with hormones and he agreed to masturbate in near public all to show her that her needs were as important to him as his were to her. He closed the door behind himself locking it and looked around. There were piles of adult magazines and DVD's for the men who needed some inspiration. Spencer merely opened his ever present messenger bag and pulled from it the scrapbook that Maggie had made for him. There was a picture of her from the New Year's Eve party in that dress that took his breath away. Looking at that picture and remembering the sensations of her lips against his neck, he was able to make short work of his assigned task. He zipped up and took the specimen jar with him finding Dr. Talman in the lab looking through a microscope.

"How many were you able to extract?"

"I've counted eight which is exceptional. Do you have something for me?"

Spencer knew he was blushing. Not only did everyone know what he had gone in the room to do but there he was holding a jar of the proof of that activity. It was, in a word, awkward but he handed over the jar dutifully.

"It didn't take you very long, you were thinking of her, I assume?"

"I-I don't, I mean, um, what?"

"It takes longer when the men have to rifle through all of the materials looking for something that sparks their interest. If the man is most excited by his wife, it doesn't take very long at all. I sometimes wonder about the environments the babies will be born into. So often I see couples where one doesn't want the child as badly as the other or where babies are being born to try to save the relationship but this one makes me feel good. You are obviously very much in love with her and she with you. I'll be actively praying for this one to take. I want you to know that."

"Thank you. Can I go back in with Maggie now?"

"Of course you can, she has to rest for a bit longer before she can go home and she'll be sore for a little while. Spencer…"

He turned back toward Dr. Talman.

"I want you to know that what you just did for your wife is one of the most romantic things you ever could have done. Not every child is the product of a bed of rose petals and a night of romantic poetry and champagne. To me, you standing there holding her hand was actually better than how most men become fathers."

Spencer didn't know how to take this so he just gave a small smile and turned to go back to where Maggie was resting and coming out of the sedation.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Hello again...this story may go on a back burner as I think I figured out how to end Shot at Redemption and I have an idea for a case fic which I haven't written one of in a while. Besides, I'm not really sure where parts of this one are going...as always, let me know what you think. I'll try not to pause this for too long but writing 3 stories at once might prove too confusing for me.-J**

"You're not alone  
Together we stand  
I'll be by your side  
You know I'll take your hand

When it gets cold  
And it feels like the end  
There's no place to go  
You know I won't give in."-Avril Lavigne 'Keep Holding On'

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Spencer quietly entered the room where Maggie had dozed off while the sedatives left her system. He pulled a stool over to her side and sat down. She shifted on the table and half opened her eyes giving him a weary smile.

"How are you feeling, my love?"

"Sleepy and kinda sore, how did you do?"

"Piece of cake, thanks to you."

He leaned and kissed her forehead tenderly noticing the tears welling in her emerald eyes.

"What's with the tears?" he asked stroking her hair.

"I'm just overwhelmed right now. I can't even explain because there are so many emotions coming from so many things. Mostly I just can't comprehend how much I love you for being willing to do this for me."

"Maggie there is nothing I wouldn't do to secure your happiness. Just rest now and then I can take you home."

"How many did we get?"

"Dr. Talman said there were eight. That's really good but really you need to rest now. I'm not going anywhere, just relax and rest so they let you go home."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spencer got Maggie home and into bed and even convinced her to let him deal with dinner. He was mildly concerned that she didn't put up her normal fight to get out of bed to make dinner but then she always had seemed to have a bit of difficulty coming out of sedating medications and she was wincing a bit. He decided to order Chinese and eat in bed with her.

"Which movie did you want to watch, Milady?"

"You pick something."

Spencer frowned because she always had some input to give but she seemed to genuinely not care.

"Please talk to me, Maggie. I need you to let me in on this. See the rings on your finger? Those mean that you don't ever have to deal with anything alone."

"Sitting here like this makes me think of the last time we were in bed eating Chinese food and me being laid up. That was right after we lost Sonnet. I just have so many feelings right now. I am awash in the feelings of loss and sadness I had about Sonnet and I'm sad that I don't get to have the normal mom experience. And I'm mad at him for being part of what caused this and I'm mad at myself for being so stupid when I was younger. And I feel guilty because you had to do something today that made you so very uncomfortable and I know it did. And I want to feel hopeful but I just can't."

She was sobbing and pushing away Spencer's attempts to soothe her.

"Maggie please calm down. I know how it is, sometimes I get blindsided by the pain of losing Sonnet. But then I remember how grateful I am that she was there to show me how much I do want a child and more importantly how much I needed you in my life. I don't think that one is ever going to stop hurting. And neither of us has been much for normal at anything we have done; why should now be different? The important thing is that there is a chance for us to end up with a child to love and nurture and how that child comes to us really doesn't matter, not to me anyway."

"What if this doesn't work?"

"Then we try again until you say enough and if it still hasn't worked then we adopt. And maybe we adopt eventually anyway even if this does work."

"I'm sorry."

"Maggie you have nothing to be sorry for."

"I was so stupid and not just because I trusted him and that it didn't occur to me that he would do what he did but I didn't know the signs of STD and it was so late when I got help."

"Honey, you were young and ignorance is not the same as stupidity, neither is innocence. I am angry at him but not because we have to try this way to get pregnant. I'm angry because he hurt you and he's been the cause of so many of your tears."

"I know how uncomfortable it makes you when anyone knows anything about your sex life and I drag you to a doctor who needs such detail about it and then you had to go into a room where anyone who saw you enter knew you were going in to masturbate. I'm so sorry. It's just not fair to you. I shouldn't have asked this of you."

Spencer smoothed her hair and held her tight to him and spoke softly.

"Someday I hope that you will understand that your wants and needs are as important as anyone else's and to me they are more important. I would walk across broken glass in my bare feet for you. And I would do it gladly."

"You really are Prince Charming aren't you?"

"I don't think so but you are definitely the beautiful princess who was alone in her tower awaiting rescue."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Reid was poring over files at his desk when his phone rang.

"Reid."

"Hey sweetie, I just got a call from Dr. Talman and we have six viable embryos. I'll be going in tomorrow to have three of them implanted. Do you think you can get away to be there?"

Spencer looked up and saw the rest of the team gathering in the conference room and J.J. heading in with a stack of brown folders.

"I think we have a case. I'm sorry Maggie."

"It's alright sweet prince, I'll give Claire a call. You just do one thing for me, okay?"

"You just name it."

"Be careful and come home safe."

"I will, my love."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The team was on the plane headed to the new case and Spencer was just staring absently out the window completely lost in the clouds passing by the window though he knew that it was the plane that was passing by the clouds. He didn't hear Morgan approach him and jumped when his friend spoke.

"Reid, you okay, man?"

"What?"

"Where is your head? You barely said anything when J.J. briefed us and I know there were at least three openings for you to go off on one of your tangents. And I know you are some kind of amazing reader but even you have to look at the page and not out the window."

"I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have come. Maggie's having embryos implanted tomorrow and I won't be there. Some kind of husband, aren't I?"

"What did Maggie say when you told her you wouldn't be there?"

"She said she'd call Claire and then she called me her sweet prince. I don't feel like a prince."

"Maggie knows this life. She's smart and she had to know there was a chance you wouldn't be able to be there. The best thing you can do now is get your head in this case so we can get it resolved as soon as possible and you can get back to her."

Spencer got a begrudging expression that said he knew that Morgan was right and turned his attention to the file in his lap.

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	9. Chapter 9

"Will you think that you're all alone  
When no one's there to hold your hand?  
And all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary  
Rest your head  
I'm permanent."-David Cook 'Permanent'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Maggie had no sooner lifted her head from the oven where she had been testing the readiness of the cupcakes she was baking when she heard the knock at the door. She quickly grabbed the pan out of the oven and placed it atop the stove before hurrying toward the front door. As was her habit since the whole stalker situation, she looked through the window in the door to see who was there. First she spotted Penelope with a smile on her face, one that seemed a bit forced but Maggie opened the door to her friend anyway. It was then that she saw the other person standing on the porch, another agent, she was pretty sure his name was Anderson.

"Hey Pen, what's up?"

She didn't even want to ask why Anderson was there.

"Get your jacket sweetie, we have to go."

The gravity of the situation hit Maggie like a sledgehammer and the world started to go black as the strength left her legs. Agent Anderson stepped forward and caught her before she could collapse to the floor. He looked to Penelope for guidance as to what he should do next.

"Maggie honey, stay with me. We have to go now. Anderson, help her to the car."

Once in the back of the car with Pen, Maggie felt the panic begin to rise inside of her. She couldn't breathe and yet she was breathing too fast. Her heart was thudding in her ears and the tears were cascading down her cheeks.

"No, no, no, no—"

It was the only word in her vocabulary at that moment and Garcia held her close, stroking her hair and whispering whatever comforting words she could think of until Maggie calmed a bit. Penelope Garcia's heart broke a bit for her friend who had been bustling through her husband's absence on this case lost in the excitement of her recent procedure and the inevitable waiting that followed. With all of that to distract her, she had done better over the last week and a half than she had ever done before while Spencer was away and now she had to deal with this and Garcia had to be the one to tell her. And that just sucked.

Garcia and Anderson helped Maggie onto the jet which was there purely to fetch her and once Maggie was settled, Garcia sat beside her and began to explain what had happened.

"First, sweetie you need to know that he's alive and they expect him to be just fine and you should also know that he's a bit of a hero. The unsub was about to kill another girl, she was only fourteen, and Spencer went in and tried to distract him and he did but the guy was holding a lead pipe and he turned and hit Reid in the head with it."

"I-I…I'm gonna be sick."

Maggie barely made it to the bathroom before she was emptying her stomach into it. And, as good friends often do, Garcia was right there to hold her hair back for her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It wasn't an incredibly long flight which was good because there was no way that Maggie could have stood that uncertainty for any length of time. A car was waiting to take Maggie to the hospital where she and Garcia were quickly met by the rest of the team. Morgan was the first to get to her.

"Hey how are you holding up?"

"Where is he, Derek? I have to see him."

Rossi approached from where he had just been talking to one of the doctors.

"Maggie before you go in there, you need to know what to expect. He's unconscious. They had to induce a coma to allow the swelling to go down. Because we were right there and an ambulance was already en route, the prognosis is very good. We won't know until he wakes up for sure if there was any damage to his brain but there is a very good possibility that there won't be."

As he spoke, Rossi gently placed an arm around her shoulders as he guided her down the hall and toward the room where Spencer lay.

"He's right in there. Talk to him, the jury's still out on whether coma patients can hear or not but it can't hurt. If you need anything at all, we are right outside. No one is leaving here without him."

Maggie looked up at him and the tears shone glossy in her eyes.

"Thank you Dave."

And she went into the room where her darling husband slept although he wasn't really sleeping and she knew that. She forced her legs to carry her to the chair that was placed at his bedside and dropped herself into it. Looking over at Spencer, she saw that the arm toward her was free of IV needles and reached to take his hand. It was warm and soft as always but did not grasp back, did not weave its fingers through hers.

"Oh my prince, what did you do?"

She kissed his fingers and let the tears flow down her cheeks and onto his hand. There was no reaction at all from him, not that she really expected one but it still disheartened her. She then felt a sudden need to rush to the bathroom again and again found herself kneeling next to the toilet spilling the nothing that was left in her stomach. She did not know that while she was kneeling there, Morgan had decided to check on her and, more to the point, his friend. He could hear what was happening and the bathroom door was not closed so he walked over to check on Maggie. By the time he entered the bathroom undetected by Maggie, she was finished vomiting and was just slouched over the bowl crying and talking to herself.

"Dammit Maggie, why did you let yourself believe? Stupid, stupid girl; you know better. You always have. They were right, nothing good will ever come to you and you don't deserve it anyway. How could you let him get in your path? You knew nothing good could come of it."

She had her fingers tangled in her hair and was alternating between pulling her own hair and punching her head and that was when Morgan decided he needed to step in.

"Whoa, whoa sweet girl, calm it down now."

She turned to face him and there was no shock at his presence there was only heart wrenching sadness. Her eyes were red and swollen and her face was wet with tears the tracks of which were not even discernable anymore. She pulled her long hair over her face as if to hide some shameful something from him. Morgan knew he couldn't very well leave his best friend's wife sitting on the bathroom floor hitting herself so he picked her up and carried her back to the room. There was a cot set up of the kind that was often in pediatric rooms where parents were staying with their children. Morgan walked to the cot and sat down placing Maggie gently next to him but still holding her close.

"Let it out. I know, I know. It's killing me too and I'm not married to him. I'm so sorry. I tried but I couldn't stop him."

Eventually her tears dried and there was only the hitching breath left from a long crying jag. Morgan reached and grabbed a tissue off of the bedside table so that he could dry her eyes. Maggie tried to stand to walk back to the chair to be closer to Spencer but her legs didn't seem to be able to hold her and why was she shaking?

"Mags, Pen said you threw up on the jet too. Have you eaten recently?"

Maggie shook her head and off Morgan went to see to her nutritional needs. Maggie found the strength to make it back to the side of Spencer's bed and sat there quietly watching him and kissing him fingers.


	10. Chapter 10

"Love is a temple, love is the higher law."-U2 'One'

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Morning came and Garcia walked into Reid's hospital room to find that Maggie had pushed the cot next to the bed and fallen asleep clutching her husband's hand to her face. A small whimper escaped the redhead's lips when she saw the trails down the cheeks of her dear friend made by the tears that had lulled her to sleep. Cautiously she reached forward and brushed the hair away from Maggie's face and leaned close to speak softly.

"Hey Maggie Mae, the doctor is coming in soon. You need to wake up so you can talk to him."

Maggie gripped Spencer's hand tighter and slowly opened her eyes. She smiled at Penelope at first and then a cloud seemed to cross her face as reality made its way back to her. She shook her head and looked pleadingly at her friend as if begging to be told that none of this had happened and somehow she wasn't in a hospital holding the hand of her comatose husband.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, I know dreamy land is better than this but you need to be the one to talk to the doctors now that you're here."

Maggie sat up and felt suddenly woozy.

"I feel kind of weak, Pen."

"You need to eat something. I brought some breakfast for you."

Maggie took one look at the tray of food and felt even worse and bolted to the bathroom where the contents of her stomach were quickly deposited into the toilet.

Upon emerging from the bathroom, Maggie encountered a quizzical looking Garcia.

"Honey, do you normally vomit when under stress?"

"No, I don't recall ever doing that. Why?"

"You've been throwing up a lot lately. You don't suppose…"

"Pen I can't even think about that now; not with him like this. He's so frail looking and I need him so. And it's not how we're supposed to find out. I'm supposed to test at home with him there and we're supposed to find out together. I can't do it alone."

"Sweetie you can't put it off forever."

"I can put it off for now."

Garcia was about to say something in objection but the doctor walked in and that was her cue to leave.

"Was I interrupting something?"

"No doctor, my friend was just bringing me some breakfast but I don't really feel like eating right now. How is my husband?"

"He's stable and we'll be doing some more tests today to see if the swelling is going down. Once it does we can begin the process of bringing him out of the coma."

"How long does it usually take?"

"There really is no usual Mrs. Reid. Every case is different and I really don't want to give you any ideas of a timeline that doesn't exist. I will keep you informed of everything that we know."

"Tests? That would be MRI, right?"

"Yes, those give us the best information. Why do you ask?"

Maggie picked up Spencer's messenger bag and rifled through it producing a CD.

"As I recall, you can listen to music while in the machine. I would like it if you would have this played for him. He loves Mozart and it soothes him. I know that no one can say for sure if he can hear things but if he can, I'd rather he hear this instead of the noisy machine."

"Of course."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Maggie was seemingly unaware of the presence of the agents as she got herself a cup of tea and she actually jumped when Hotch came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry to startle you Maggie."

"It's alright Aaron; I guess I'm just off in my own little world right now. I really appreciate that all of you are still here but really you should go home to Jack and J.J. should be with Henry. I don't like being the reason that you're not with your families."

"Reid is family too. And so are you. Jack is doing fine. He understands, I told him that Reid got hurt and we want to be here to make sure he gets better. He asked if you were sad and I told him that I thought you were so he told me to give you this."

Hotch stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Maggie and pulled her into a hug. She returned the embrace and smiled.

"Tell him that this made me feel a lot better."

Morgan approached the pair.

"Hey girl can I talk to you a minute?"

"Yeah Derek, what's up?"

Morgan pulled her aside and spoke quietly to her.

"What's the word on boy wonder?"

"He's in MRI so they can see if the swelling is better."

"I'm sure they'll be bringing him out of this soon. He's tough, tougher than we usually give him credit for. So Baby Girl tells me that the procedure might have been successful but you are putting off finding out."

"I'm too scared for him right now to even think about that. I'm already on vitamins so it's not like a week or two is going to matter and it might not even be that long."

"I really think you need to find out. Even if it's just for you. You don't have to tell any of us what the results are."

"I don't know…"

"Here, Garcia ran out and bought this for you. Just take it."

He handed her a bag from a nearby drug store containing a home pregnancy test.

"Okay Derek, I'll take it but no one knows until Spencer can know."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Maggie was exiting the bathroom with the test in hand as Spencer was being brought back into the room. She quickly dropped the stick into her purse and went to his side. Resuming her place sitting next to him and holding his hand.

"I missed you my knight. You know how lonely I get when you're away. Did they play the music for you? I know how noisy those machines can be and I don't want you to be bombarded. I know you can get overwhelmed by too much noise."

"Mrs. Reid may I have a word with you?"

"Of course doctor, what did the test show?"

"He's improving but we can't bring him out just yet. And it seems I owe you an apology because it's Dr. Reid, isn't it?"

"Actually since my doctorate is in Literature, only students really call me doctor. Everyone addresses Spencer as doctor because he doesn't exactly look like an FBI agent so it garners more respect for him. Besides, he has three doctorates. Really I'm most comfortable being called Maggie."

"Fair enough Maggie, we'll be running the tests again tomorrow and if the progress he's been making continues we might be able to bring him back to you after that round of tests. And I made very sure that the music was played for him. I personally do believe that coma patients can hear even though I can't back that up with any sort of scientific evidence."

"Thank you doctor."

Once the doctor was out of the room, Maggie sat back down and took Spencer's hand into her own threading her fingers through his.

"I know you're strong my prince. I have seen you go through so much and so many people would have been crushed by the events of your life. You know you saved that girl. I don't think anyone told you that yet but you did. She'd be dead if not for you. You're a hero, darling. But now you have to fight just a little more. Please baby, just get a little better and the doctor will wake you up for me. I need you here with me. I need you to hold me and tell me things are going to be fine. Somehow I can believe it when you say it. Oh Sweet Prince, come back to me. I love you so very much."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey there, anyone ready for Spencer to wake up? I sure was. And what was the result of that pregnancy test? Hmmmm...-J**

"Where've you been?  
I've looked for you forever and a day.  
Where've you been?  
I'm just not myself when you're away."-Kathy Mattea 'Where've You Been?'

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"I know he said you didn't have to tell us but can't you just tell me? Please?"

"Pen, the results are for me and for Spencer. No one is going to know what those results are before him."

Garcia sighed knowing that she was defeated.

"Fine Magpie! So how long do these tests take anyway?"

"He's usually gone for a half hour or so. I know that sounds weird because he's not really here when he's here."

"I knew what you meant honey. So he'll be back soon and then you'll know more?"

"Yeah for right now, all I can do is wait and hope and pray."

"I can't believe he's been like this for four days already. I really thought he'd be out of this sooner."

"Well the doctor said the test results yesterday were very encouraging and today might be our day."

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The doctor had just entered the room to find Maggie sitting in her normal position next to Spencer and clutching his hand. She looked up hopefully when she heard him approach.

"Maggie I just looked at Spencer's MRI and I think it's time he joined the waking world again."

"Really? You're not joking around with me are you?"

"No, I most certainly am not. I have seen you here talking to him and holding him and I see how much you love him. Personally I've been rooting for this day. We do need to talk a little before we bring him out of this."

"Talk? About what? Just bring him back to me. Please."

Maggie was trying not to cry and seem weak but the waver was in her voice and the moisture in her eyes. How could this man not see that there was nothing to talk about; that she just needed her husband back?

"Maggie, the problem is that waking him up may not be the same thing as bringing your husband back to you."

"I don't understand."

"For starters, he might have some memory loss. It's almost a guarantee that he won't remember the specifics of the injury and he may never. I have been told that Dr. Reid has or at least had, an eidetic memory."

"Yes, are you trying to tell me that might be gone? He'd be devastated. His mind scares him sometimes but he treasures it. I guess you could say that to him, his mind defines him."

"And that is why you need to be prepared for whatever might happen when we bring him back to consciousness. There is also the chance that there might be some amount of brain damage. There's just no possible way to know until he wakes up and we can talk to him and put him through a full neuro-exam."

"You can't tell if there's damage on the films?"

"It looks fairly clear but that isn't always an indication. And keep in mind brain damage might not affect his intellect but it might affect his personality or even his motor skills. You just let me know when you are ready for this. It won't take long to bring him out."

Maggie took a deep breath to steel herself and looked the doctor square in the eyes.

"Now, I'm ready now."

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Once the medication was administered to reverse the comatose condition, the doctor and nurses left Maggie to her husband but made sure that she knew they were right outside. There was no immediate response from Spencer so Maggie just kept talking in her way that she had of just babbling when she was nervous.

"Come on my brave, brave knight, I know you're in there. I really need to talk to you right now so you need to wake up for me. You know Barrett and Browning probably miss us something awful right now. Please Sweet Prince wake up now. I love you and I can't handle any part of my life without you."

As she spoke, his fingers tightened around hers and when she looked up to his face, she saw his eyelids fluttering. She held her breath as she waited for those eyes to open. When at last, they did a smile spread across her face. It was the kind of all encompassing smile that first attracted Spencer to her and he returned the gesture. His mouth struggled to form words but there was no real voice behind it.

"Here my love, here's some water. You must be parched."

"Maggie what in the hell happened?"

"What do you remember darling?"

"We tracked the unsub to an old shed and we knew he had the girl and then I don't really remember anything past that."

"You saved her. You distracted the unsub and you saved her but he hit you in the head. You had me so worried. You've been in a coma for four days now."

"Maggie I should have been with you for the implantation. I should have."

"No, you saved that little girl's life. I wasn't alone, Claire was with me. But I have to tell you something."

"What is it milady?"

"It worked. I'm pregnant. You Dr. Spencer Reid are going to be a daddy!"

"That is the most amazing news. How long have you known?"

"Just for a few days, no one else knows though. You needed to be the second person to find out."

By this time Maggie had climbed onto the bed with Spencer and rested her head on his chest delighting in the sound of his heartbeat. There was a knock on the door and Maggie and Spencer looked up to see Morgan standing in the doorway not being able to wait any longer to see his friend.

"Hey Derek, he's back. You can bring the rest of the gang in with you."

With everyone in the room, Spencer nodded to Maggie to speak for them.

"We have a little bit of news. A couple of you already know that I've been undergoing some fertility treatments and following in vitro fertilization, I had three embryos implanted the day after you guys left for this case. I wanted to make sure I could share this with Spencer before anyone else but he knows now so the rest of you can as well. The procedure was successful and we are expecting a little baby genius."

There were congratulations and handshakes and hugs and smiles all around, both for the recovery of their friend and, well he really was just everyone's kid brother, wasn't he? But there was also the joy for the news of a new life, a new member of their little family and even for the realization that their kid brother wasn't that much of a kid anymore.

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	12. Chapter 12

"Consumed with what's to transpire  
And you, your sex is on fire."-Kings of Leon 'Sex on Fire'

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Maggie was helping a very wobbly Spencer into the bathroom so that he could shower. While he had been unconscious she had tried as best she could to keep him clean with sponge baths but frankly he needed a good shower. Once in the bathroom, she began to take off his hospital gown.

"I can undress myself, Maggie."

"Did I say you couldn't? You've never objected before when I undressed you."

She got the gown off of him and helped him into the shower.

"Hang onto the rail. Do you need a chair?"

"I'm shaky but I'm not that weak. What are you doing?"

Maggie herself was undressing.

"I'm getting in with you. I'm not going to have you falling and bumping that precious head of yours after we just made sure that it wasn't all messed up."

Spencer started to protest but then having his naked wife in the shower with him started seeming like a fine idea indeed. Maggie stepped into the shower and turned on the water adjusting it to a comfortable temperature. She helped him around to a spot in the shower stall where he was more directly under the spray. Once he was wet, she reached up and started working shampoo into his hair. He leaned his head back feeling her fingers work into his scalp and her breasts rubbing against his back. He groaned softly and could feel himself responding to the sensations. Maggie then went to work on the rest of his body slowly soaping him and rubbing the lather away under the warm spray of the shower. Spencer leaned against the wall to free his hands from the railing to trail them over Maggie's body. His light touch grazing her nipple brought a sharp intake of air from her and that brought a smile to Spencer's lips. As Maggie moved forward to plant kisses around his throat, Spencer moved his hand lower slipping it between her legs his fingers working over her sensitive nerve endings until she was shaking against him barely able to stand from the after effects of her release. Flicking her tongue down his neck she could feel his erection pressing against her more insistently and she began to trail kisses down his chest lowering to her knees before him. She kissed and licked around his lower abdomen and then his hip bones and his upper thighs before taking his now nearly desperate erection into her mouth. He gasped and grabbed the railing tighter to keep from losing his balance as his hips bucked forward of their own volition. Spencer was awash with sensation and pleasure. His back rested against the still slightly cool tile while warm water cascaded over his body. Maggie's hands rubbed over his backside and then lightly stroked the highly sensitized area right behind his scrotum. Her mouth working up and down the shaft of his penis and as he let all of this sensory input wash over him, he felt his own release overtake him.

Maggie stood with a smile on her face and kissed him before turning off the water.

"We'd better get you out of here before you get all pruny."

"Have I told you lately what an amazing woman you are?"

"It's been at least an hour so I guess you're overdue. And you're not so bad yourself."

She helped him out of the shower and dried him off helping him into a pair of scrubs before assisting him to sit on the toilet while she dried and dressed so that she could help him back to his bed. Maggie had no sooner gotten Spencer settled back into his bed when Morgan walked into the room.

"Hey you're looking better."

"Yeah it's amazing what getting out of that stupid gown can do, not to mention a shower."

Morgan took quick notice of the fact that both people before him had wet hair and a smile spread across his face.

"A little company in the shower doesn't hurt either, does it?"

Spencer blushed and Maggie just laughed.

"So kid, I hear they're ready to spring you today."

"Yes, he's so smart, he even passed all of his neurological exams and they are letting him go home to Virginia. You'll even have him bugging you at work in a week or so."

"Damn, you do have some super powered brain or something. I don't know of anyone else who could take a lead pipe upside the head and just spring back with no damage whatsoever."

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Later in the day Spencer was waiting for his discharge papers to come through when a knock came on the door and in leaned Garcia.

"Hey boy genius, can you stand a visitor?"

Maggie signaled for Garcia to bring in the visitor and in walked a teenage girl with her long blonde hair pulled back in a pony tail. Her arm was in a sling and there was a small bandage covering a few stitches in her forehead just below her hairline.

"Agent Reid? My name is Emma Shelling. They said you're going to be okay?"

Spencer looked confused for a minute and then his brain caught up and the name snapped into its rightful place. Emma Shelling was the girl being held by the unsub when they caught up with him.

"Emma…it's really good to see you. Are you alright?"

"Thanks to you. I know what he did to the others and aside from a little cut on my head and a dislocated shoulder; he didn't get a chance to hurt me. You saved my life and well, other things as well."

"It's my job Emma."

"It doesn't change that you put yourself in danger for me. I was so scared when they told me how badly you were hurt. I wanted to thank you but I was so afraid to come here. Is this your wife?"

"Yes, her name is Maggie."

"I am so sorry. I was so afraid to come and face you knowing your husband was hurt so bad saving me. I'm so glad he's better. And then I heard that you're going to have a baby and I thought you'd be even madder at me."

Emma was starting to cry as the guilt overwhelmed her and Maggie couldn't help but cross over to her and enfold her in a hug.

"I was mad but never at you. This was not your fault. You were taken by a psychopath and it was his fault. I am just glad you weren't hurt. And I am very happy you did come to visit us."

"I'm glad too Emma."

Maggie released Emma and allowed the girl to walk over to Spencer's bed and give him a hug of appreciation. As hard as it was to think about losing Spencer with her current condition, she knew that she'd never regret marrying a man who was capable of such heroics. His instincts for protecting this little girl he didn't even know spoke volumes for the kind of father he would be to their own child. When Emma left the room, Maggie followed her out.

"Emma, could I ask a favor of you?"

"Anything ma'am."

"Okay, two favors, first call me Maggie. And second could you keep in touch? Just a note every now and then. Sometimes on this job, these guys get down and wonder if they ever really make a difference. Knowing that you are out here living your life because of his actions could be really good for him."

"Of course I will."

Emma gave Maggie one more hug before meeting back up with her mother in the hallway and bouncing away toward a life that at least had a chance of normalcy thanks to her beloved.

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	13. Chapter 13

**It's been a few days...sorry. The exciting news is that I have begun work on my first novel. I am both terrified and excited. Anyway, I do hope that this chapter is pleasing to my dear faithful readers.-J**

"But oh how it feels so real  
Lying here with no one near  
Only you and you can hear me  
When I say softly, slowly  
Hold me closer tiny dancer  
Count the headlights on the highway  
Lay me down in sheets of linen  
You had a busy day today."-Elton John 'Tiny Dancer'

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The entire team was finally heading back to Quantico satisfied only because they are able to take their youngest member home with them. Morgan sat back with his headphones on and smiled to see Reid and Maggie sleeping. Maggie was leaned back against Reid's chest and Morgan could see how his friend's arm was resting protectively over his wife's abdomen, guarding the treasure within. How life could shift from such extreme terror to such joy was something that would forever cause wonder in Derek Morgan's mind. A little over a week ago they were feeling hopeless about the case and when it finally broke, they didn't even get to savor the victory as they watched one of their own struggle for his very life. Now here was that same member of their team, their family, cozy and sleeping with his wife facing a future as a father.

"So when is that going to be you and Claire?"

Garcia's words broke through his thoughts.

"I haven't even proposed yet."

"But you're going to. I know you bought the ring."

"Things are complicated baby girl."

"You're making them more complicated than they have to be."

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As Maggie and Spencer made their way up the steps to their porch, he stumbled and bit and she rushed to catch him.

"Maggie, you shouldn't be doing that in your condition."

"My condition? I'm not terminal, I'm merely pregnant. And you haven't quite gotten your strength back so I'll still have to step in from time to time."

"But what if I had fallen on you or knocked you down?"

"Honestly Mr. Bookworm, are you going to tell me that you haven't read up on pregnancy enough to know that during the first trimester the little tadpole is securely behind my pubic bone and therefore pretty darned safe?"

"But…"

"No buts mister, I'll be taking care of you. I have to do something with all these maternal urges."

"So the shower in my hospital room, that was maternal urges?"

"Not exactly. Are you complaining?"

By now the pair was settled on the couch with Maggie resting her head against Spencer's chest.

"You know better than that. So what are the rules regarding that kind of activity. You know we've always enjoyed a rather active sex life."

"As long as no complications arise, we can pretty much have the same sex life we always have. Just once the bump presents itself; there can't be any squishing of the bump."

"So I could make love to you right here and now?"

"Hold that thought."

With that Maggie bolted for the bathroom with Spencer following closely behind. He figured out what was happening just in time to snatch her hair and hold it back and out of the path of her vomit. When she was finished she smiled sheepishly at him.

"Little one is already trying to ruin the mood."

Her husband wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"You never did answer my question."

"Let me brush my teeth."

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The waning light of evening found the couple in bed relishing in the warmth of their nude bodies. Maggie sighed contentedly and kissed where her head rested on his chest.

"This is real, right?"

"What, my prince?"

"You naked in my arms with my child in your body, that's all real, right?"

"You're not hallucinating and you did come out of the coma. And I don't fantasize about vomiting profusely. I'm pretty sure this is all real. If it's not I sure as hell don't want to wake up."

"Do me a favor? If I still am in the coma and this is some sort of dream state, don't ever let them bring me back."

Maggie bolted upright with a huge smile on her face.

"I can't believe I get to point out a logical flaw to you of all people! This is the greatest."

"I don't understand."

"If you are in a coma and all of this is part of your dream world then I'm not by your side or controlling your medical care. You need to call Derek or Aaron or, well who would it have been before me?"

"Hotch would have had the medical power of attorney. Wow, you're right. When did I lose my logic?"

"I think I am rubbing off on you. I'm sorry, my love."

"I'm not. Wait, you don't think that could be residual damage from the head trauma?"

"You are supposed to follow up with a neurologist here before you return to work anyway. Ask about that then."

"I will. You did tell me everything about this injury, didn't you?"

"You know there is some chance that some of your memory might be compromised and your personality could change. I know I told you all of that. So far things seem fine. You may never remember actually being hit but, really, do you want to? Otherwise you have your memory intact and you've bored all of us with useless facts enough in the last couple of days to prove that. You are still your sweet awkward self as far as I can see. Do you feel different?"

"No, I don't. I just feel really lucky and not to be alive but to have this as my life."

"We'll see how you feel when you're changing diapers at two in the morning."

"Diapers?"

"You have a Godson less than two years old; you have changed a diaper before, haven't you?"

"Yeah but that makes it sound very real."

"So there's your proof, this is real. Are you happy or freaked out?"

"Ecstatic. I can't begin to tell you how much so."

Maggie studied him for a moment and determined that he was being completely serious. He really was happy at the prospect of sleepless nights and diaper changes. After their first conversation on the topic there was no way that she ever expected him to be this happy about becoming a father. But that was her sweet prince, full of surprises. And she'd have him no other way.

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	14. Chapter 14

**Wow. The muses are really speaking to me today. This one came so easy. As always, let me know what you think of it!-J**

"You and I were made for this  
I was made to taste your kiss  
We were made to never fall away."-Civil Twilight 'Letters from the Sky'

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Maggie awoke in the darkness of the wee hours of the morning to the realization that she was alone in the bed. There was no understanding of what had caused her to be pulled from her slumber but Spencer's absence from her side was enough to bring her fully awake. Sure he seemed okay and so far the tests were encouraging but it was Maggie's habit to trust damned little. She slowly slid from under the blankets and padded out of the room in search of her brave, if fractured, knight.

Knowing him as she did, she began her search in the library and was not at all surprised to find him there with a book open in his lap. He wasn't reading but just gazing absently out the window. He took seemingly no notice of her as she approached and as she did she became aware of the glistening tracks down his face. She nearly jumped as he spoke, still not looking at her.

"I'm sorry if I woke you; you should get your rest."

"Spencer-"

"Please, just go back to bed, Maggie. Get some sleep."

"I can't sleep. Do you mind if I sit with you for a while?"

"It's your house too."

Maggie wasn't sure if it was his word choice or the distant yet bitter tone to his voice but she recoiled from that statement. The tears started to prick at her eyes and she blinked them back. She wanted to get through to him but didn't want to seem to use her tears as manipulation. She was sitting on a chair opposite of Spencer and she drew her knees to her chest, fully realizing that she wouldn't be able to do that much longer, before speaking.

"Are you angry with me?"

"I'm angry with me."

"Please explain, I don't understand."

"Remember once I told you I could never say no to you?"

"Of course, but I've never agreed with it."

"It's true. I love you so much and want your happiness so much that I will agree to the craziest most ill-advised things just to please you. To put this into Morgan terms, I need to grow a pair."

"And I would do anything for you, you know that. You ask damned little of me but have I ever refused you anything?"

"Would you still if it was the complete wrong thing to do?"

"Wrong, how? Like illegal or immoral?"

"Any of the above, all of the above, none of the above. Just wrong for you."

"Have I asked you to do anyth—oh…"

Maggie's hands reflexively flew to her still flat and innocuous belly. The baby. He didn't really want the baby. He was crying because he should have said no and now she was crying. How selfish could she have been? She knew this was so touchy for him and she really shouldn't have assumed that IVF was the right thing. She knew he was fine with fatherhood, or so she had thought and after Sonnet he regularly spoke of a time when they would be parents. She rushed him. She didn't ask what he wanted. _Good job, Maggie, you've been married all of four months and you're already the worst wife ever. _Suddenly she couldn't face him anymore and she ran from the room, down the stairs and found herself on her precious porch swing. She was thankful for her pajamas having shorts so she wasn't sitting out in some flimsy nightgown. Her mind kept turning over and over how she could have been so blind to his ambivalence. _Can you blame him; he wakes up from a coma to a pregnant wife. He's barely gotten used to being married and you've made him jack off in a cup and now he's facing fatherhood. _The tears would not stop. She had been so sure of her happily ever after and now she just felt stupid and angry at herself. _You're a grown up, you know there's no such thing as happily ever after. There are no fairy tales and if there were, you wouldn't be living one. _There was a hand on her shoulder and Maggie tensed, instantly aware that her front porch alone was maybe not the wisest place to be at three something in the morning. She jerked her head up to see Spencer looking at her and as hard as she looked at him, she could not discern his expression. His eyes shifted to the porch swing, asking a question that needed no words and Maggie shifted over to allow him room to sit next to her where he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him so that her head rested on his chest.

"I know this won't make it better but I'm sorry."

"Maggie, you don't have to apologize, I shouldn't have said what I did."

"If that's how you feel then yes, you should. I don't think you understand how much I love you, my prince."

"When will you realize that I am not a prince, or a knight? I'm a horrible person and an even worse husband."

"Spencer, don't say that-"

He looked up at the sky contemplating the pinpoints of light in the heavens.

"It's a clear night tonight and pretty dark too. I want to show you something."

He took her hand and led her from the porch to the front yard where he stopped behind her putting his arms around her and pulling her to rest her back against his chest wondering if there would ever come a time when the feel of her against his body wouldn't bring him wonder. He looked up and spotted what he was searching for and bent his knees to lower his head to her level.

"Tilt your head up and follow my hand. See that? Do you know what that is?"

"Is that Sonnet? It is, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. Well, it's the star we named for her anyway. Thinking of being a father in the abstract was such a wonderful thought but this is real…"

"I really don't understand, my darling. Everyone is intimidated by the thought of becoming a parent. Even I am. I want this with all my heart and soul but I'm afraid that I won't be good enough for him or her, that I won't be able to handle it."

"It's not fear. And I wish you wouldn't call me your darling, I don't deserve it."

He had released her and was stalking away.

"I've saddled you with a child that at best will have a less that neurotypical brain and at worst will be condemned to live like my mother. Obviously I have an addictive personality that will be passed down and paranoid schizophrenic drug addicts are the best possible kind."

He was ranting and pacing and the bitterness and sarcasm in his voice was like a knife but not a sharp one that would cut so clean you wouldn't know you were cut until the blood flowed. This one was dull and jagged and sawed through her. She wanted to stop him. Make him stop moving and stop talking. She wanted to go back to snuggling cozy under the sheets with him, laughing at the jokes that no one else was nerdy enough to get. But he just kept on going.

"I work this stupid job that not only puts me in danger but scares you and can even put you in danger. Look at poor Jack growing up with half a parent. His mother is dead and his father spends more time at work with the team than with his own son. Right now Jack thinks his dad is some sort of super hero but eventually he will grow up and hate him for all of this. So don't call me darling or prince or knight or sweetheart. Don't call me anything you won't still mean when you are a single parent, either divorced or widowed, dealing with my messed up offspring."

That was it; he was hysterical now so she felt that her next move was warranted. Her hand flew up and slapped him hard across the face.

"You need to fucking stop talking now. I don't know where you fucking get off telling me how I feel or presuming to know what I have or have not considered. I'm going in the house. Come find me when you want to have a discussion like two grownups."

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	15. Chapter 15

"Only love  
Can bring the rain  
That makes you yearn to the sky  
Only love  
Can bring the rain  
That falls like tears from on high  
Love, Reign o'er me."-The Who 'Love Reign O'er Me'

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Spencer stood mouth agape in the front yard for, while Maggie's slap had indeed shut him up, it didn't really unstick his brain from overdrive. It merely froze him. The sound of the slamming front door broke him from his fog. He looked around to find himself alone in the yard in his pajamas. His hand slowly went toward the stinging spot on his cheek. Blinking rapidly he fought to remember what Maggie had said. He couldn't. He had been so into his own panic that he hadn't heard her. But every time he closed his eyes he could see her wounded eyes and flowing tears. Though he couldn't remember what Maggie had said, he knew everything he had said and while there might have been truth to his words, he knew that he had broken her heart, the heart she had so completely entrusted him with. Somehow he walked the five or so feet to the porch and sat down on the swing. He didn't intend to sleep on the porch but he didn't feel like he deserved to go back in the house either. He sat thinking, which might have been the worst thing given the situation and eventually fell asleep. The light of morning brought him back to something close to his senses and the night before flooded back to him. Rubbing a hand through his hair and down to grab his neck he decided that he'd have to face his wife eventually. Maybe she had gotten some sleep and would grant him forgiveness if he begged hard enough. Inside the house he realized that there was no cooking smell emanating from the kitchen, no music from anywhere. Perhaps Maggie was still asleep. She had been going into work most days in preparation of a new school year but she didn't have to go in. He hoped that she was able to get some rest. That hope was dashed when he crept up the stairs to ready himself for his own work day. She was not upstairs anywhere. He quickly showered and dressed and made his way to the kitchen where there was a large chocolate muffin sitting on the table and a note next to the breakfast. He picked it up and read it quickly.

"Morning Asshole, Here's your breakfast. Apparently you weren't interested in talking. I'm in my office today if you get your head out of your ass at any point.-Maggie"

The way she signed it actually hurt more than addressing it to "Asshole". He couldn't argue that was what he was. But no "love" in the signature? That was a hard one to swallow. He opened the fridge to grab some milk and found a small container with lunch in it and another note stuck to it.

"So you don't stop eating, jerkface.-M"

As much as her words stung him, he knew that she must still love him in spite of herself if she was still making sure he was eating.

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Standing in the break room at work, Spencer was dumping what was an excessive amount of sugar, even for him, into his coffee.

"No sleep last night, eh?"

Reid looked up to see Morgan grinning mischievously at him, obviously assuming that Spencer's lack of sleep had something to do with some romantic antics. Could that have been any farther from the truth?

"Lot on my mind Morgan. Why are you in such a good mood?"

"Claire said yes."

Spencer really was happy to hear about that even though his own opinions of matrimony were a little confused.

"Hey congratulations, man. That's great news."

Reid slipped away before the conversation turned back to him or before he had to feign any more happiness about anything. He sat down at his desk and couldn't focus so he decided he needed to talk to someone. The question was who he should go to. Garcia was out and really so were all of the women on the team. They may protect him like a little brother but their alliance would go to Maggie. He didn't begrudge them that. He knew he was in the wrong but them lecturing him on what a complete jerk he was wouldn't help him at all. He couldn't ask Hotch because, well, he just couldn't and Morgan was in too good a mood to bother him with this right now. So up the stairs he went and knocked on the door of the most senior member of the team. He heard Rossi call for him to enter the office. Once Spencer was inside with the door closed behind him, he nearly chickened out until Rossi spoke.

"Something bothering you, Reid?"

"Um, I, is this a bad time? I could come back later. I don't want to bother you."

"Reid, what is it? You came up here for a reason and from the looks of you it's personal. Talk to me kid."

"Maggie and I had a fight."

The words came out in such a jumble that Rossi had to take a moment to process what had been said so that he could separate the words one from another.

"How bad was it?"

"I, um, I slept on the porch swing."

"She kicked you out? What in the hell did you do?"

"Well she didn't exactly kick me out."

Spencer summarized the events from the night before for Rossi who winced numerous times as he heard all of the things Reid had said in his panic.

"I don't suppose I need to tell you how badly you messed up?"

Reid shook his head looking like a child being scolded by a parent.

"Have you tried talking to her yet?"

Another shake of the head.

"Reid, Maggie is a very reasonable woman and she's been through some serious hell with you and put you through plenty as well. You need to talk to her. Realize that she's scared too. I'm told most expectant parents are to some extent. She needs to know that you aren't looking for reasons to bail. And she needs you to absolve her."

"What?"

"She feels like she messed up and ruined things for you. C'mon kid, you're a profiler. Step back and think about it."

"I might just as well have said that I didn't want the baby. How is she going to forgive me for that?"

"Own your words and your fears. You said you needed to get a spine, well man up here and admit that you're scared. It's allowed. Talk, listen, have an actual conversation. And remember she's feeling insecure. You've got the sociology degree, you know this stuff. And also remember her hormones are going to be a little out of kilter too."

"Thanks Rossi."

And Spencer did find himself feeling a little better and more hopeful.

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	16. Chapter 16

"I never meant to cause you any sorrow  
I never meant to cause you any pain  
I only wanted one time to see you laughing."-Prince 'Purple Rain'

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In her office at Georgetown Maggie sat at her desk fully aware that she would get nothing accomplished today. The only reason she had decided to go to work was that she didn't want to still be home when Spencer woke up. She was mad at him but that was only really part of it. The fact that he hadn't come in the house at all scared her. In her notes, she projected the fear as anger and called him names but really she was afraid that she had messed things up too badly. Really how much crazy could she expect this poor man to deal with? Maggie thought of everything this man had been through in his life from his mother's illness to his father leaving and then his experiences in high school and on the job. Guilt washed over her for leaving so early that morning, for having slapped him even though that's what you do to hysterical people. He needed someone who could be gentle with him, who would give understanding and not just unload the crazy all over him. Maggie rested her head on her arms and just sobbed. She cried for the scared little boy that she knew still dwelled within him. She cried for the wounded man who had finally hoped of some good in his life. She cried for the fear she saw in his eyes the night before and for the shock on his face as the red handprint darkened on his cheek. She cried so hard that she didn't hear the door to her office open.

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Spencer stood outside of David Rossi's office for a moment contemplating his next move. Checking his watch, he saw that lunch was approaching and made up his mind. So down the hall to Hotch's office he went. The door was open and he peeked in.

"Hotch? Do you have a minute?"

"Sure Reid, what's up?"

"Um, I'd like to take a long lunch today if, um, that's okay. I have something personal to take care of."

"Take whatever time you need. We'll call if a case comes up. Care to talk about this?"

"I, um, just have some errands to run."

"Reid, I'm a profiler and you're a rotten liar. If you don't want to tell me, just say so."

"Actually, I wanted to ask you how you felt about Jack being born. Like when you found out he was going to be, did it scare you?"

"I was overjoyed at the thought of being a father but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't scared half to death of it. Even when he was born, I was scared of him. I was scared I wouldn't be a good enough father. I was scared I'd turn into my own father. These are natural fears, Reid. I know you're not used to being normal but in this case you are."

Reid contemplated his superior's words for a moment then spoke again.

"Did you ever say anything to Haley about the pregnancy that suggested that, well, you didn't want…"

Hotch sucked his breath in harshly and looked sympathetically at the young man standing in front of him. Damn. Did this kid even know how bad of shape he was in?

"Reid, take the rest of the day. Work this out. I need your head here when you're here and that means you need to fix this. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks Hotch."

Spencer made his way nearly to the door of the office before Hotch spoke again.

"Reid."

Spencer turned around.

"Good luck."

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Walking into Maggie's office, Spencer nearly turned right back around. Her arms were on her desk and her head rested on them. She was sobbing and crying out as if her heart were breaking and Spencer realized it was and it was his fault. With everything they had been through, he had never seen her quite this bad before. The closest had been when she got the letter from her parents telling her they wouldn't make it to the wedding. This was much worse. She knew her parents were jerks, but she had trusted him. He slowly approached her, going slowly from his own fear because she had no awareness that he was actually in the room. He placed a hand on her shoulder causing her to jump and he then enfolded her in his arms whispering words of comfort and apology into her long dark hair.

Maggie lifted her head to look at Spencer tracing her fingers over his face as if seeing him for the first time.

"I'm so, so sorry. It's all messed up now and I don't know how to fix it."

Spencer smoothed her hair and tenderly wiped the streaks of salt water from her cheeks.

"You are a very silly girl. Nothing is messed up and you didn't do anything wrong."

"But I made you go through these treatments with me. I rushed you. I-I…"

"You brought unmitigated joy to my life. You gave me a center, a home. And now you're trying to fill that home with even more love and joy."

Maggie just stared at him in utter disbelief.

"I deserved your anger you know. You weren't mad at me for being scared or even suggesting that maybe I didn't want the baby. I insulted you. I know you thought about my job and its implications. I know you weighed genetic factors. I mean, forget schizophrenia, the kid could get the asshole gene from your folks."

This actually coaxed a bit of a laugh from Maggie.

"I treated you like an impulsive child and you are neither impulsive nor are you a child."

He pulled her into a tight embrace.

"I really want to be your prince, your brave knight though I know my armor is a bit dented and in need of polish. Can I still be your hero?"

She hugged him back nodding against his chest not trusting herself to speak.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Maggie was packing her laptop and some of her papers to leave for the day when a thought seemed to occur to her.

"My prince, what did you think when I told you I wanted a baby? What did you feel? I want the truth."

"It really caught me by surprise. I thought you might want more time to settle into married life but then I guess we've been like some old married couple since well before the wedding anyway."

"You didn't really answer my question."

"I suppose I didn't. Emotions, wow, there were so many; surprised, happy, excited, nervous, scared, angry-"

"Angry? Why?"

There was a fear behind her eyes. Was her sweet prince angry with her for wanting such a thing?

"I knew that whether you went through IVF or adoption that this would be an ordeal for you and might be filled with disappointment before you came to the joy. It made me angry about what he did to you."

"So how do you feel about little one now?"

"I'm still scared and nervous but also hopeful. That's a very new feeling for me but I think I could get used to it."

He leaned and kissed his wife and it was then that his phone rang. Looking at the display, he saw that it was Hotch calling.

"Reid, I'm sorry to call you. I hope everything is sorted because we really need your full focus on this new case."

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	17. Chapter 17

"You're never alone, you're never disconnected  
You're home with your own when company's expected  
You're well protected."-'The Jet Song' from West Side Story

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Maggie was well entrenched in her usual organized chaos that she fell into when Spencer was away. She had already reorganized all of her books and her craft supplies and tried to avoid looking at baby furniture online. She didn't want to even think about decorating until she got out of her first trimester and had seen a healthy little heartbeat on the ultrasound. Oh and that thought made her sad. If Spencer didn't make it back soon, he'd miss her appointment where there was hope that they'd be hearing the heartbeat. Oh that just wouldn't be nearly as much fun without her prince. As she sat in her favorite chair in the library to try to focus on reading a book, her phone rang and she didn't even look at the display.

"Sweet Prince?"

"I've been called many things but that's not ever been one of them. Cyber princess, baby girl, all knowing oracle…never have I been a prince of any sort."

"Pen, I have to tell you that I do not relish calls from you while Spencer is away. You have a tendency to bring really bad news and I can't handle any of that right now. If you are calling to tell me something has happened to any of them, try a different method. Maybe you could send a singing telegram or something."

"Maggie, sweetie…"

Garcia hated how Maggie so thinly veiled her fears and it made her sad to know that she was hurting so right now. The sympathy dripped from her voice and sent a chill through Maggie's body.

"No Pen, please, I can't do this again. Not this soon and it's all my fault. He's got to be so tired and oh God, how am I going to explain this to our child. He or, or she will never forgive me not like I could forgive myself either."

"Margaret Ellen Reid! Stop babbling! Reid is fine honey. He's safe as a kitten. As of right now he's stuck inside going through copious records because he's the only one who can get through them in any timely manner. Honey I wanted to talk to you just as a friend."

"He's okay? And the rest of the family is too?"

"Yes, yes, yes…now can we please talk?"

"I-I guess. What's this about?"

"I really don't want to talk over the phone. This is the kind of conversation that bestie friends have over ice cream and a bottle of wine. But you can't have wine so…"

"Slushies?"

"I'll be over once my babies turn in for the night. Cherry slush, right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

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Maggie was bustling from the kitchen to silence the incessant rapping on her front door.

"I am coming! Really, I know you heard me! I'm almost there!"

The door was barely open before a cyclone of color and sound blew past her into the living room.

"Sit Maggie Mae, sit. Here's your slushy and a pint of ice cream. Now tell me what he did while I contemplate not killing him."

"Garce I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Oh you so do know. As I was leaving the conference room, I heard Hotch say to Rossi that he hoped Reid had enough grovel time and Rossi said that he wasn't sure there was enough grovel time for what he did. What did he do? I warned him before that he had hurt you once and I'd destroy him if he ever did it again."

"He chose his words poorly. Beyond that, he did nothing wrong. You should be mad at me, I slapped him."

"Whoa, what exactly did he say that merited that response?"

Maggie took a drink of her slush and then sighed loudly before relating the whole tale. When she finished, Garcia's eyes were wide.

"You hit him? Wow. I mean I get it but really? You hit him?"

Maggie looked down ashamed.

"I know it's the last thing I should have done. The poor thing has been so abused through his life. He was so alone in his early youth and out and out violence once he reached high school. I'm supposed to be his safe place. He's never supposed to know pain or fear from me. He slept on the porch for God's sake."

"He is so much tougher than you are giving him credit for. Except that he must've thought that he was the one that screwed up. Honestly the two of you are so wounded and paranoid, you drive me batty."

"You know if you weren't so amazingly nosy, you wouldn't have that problem."

This caused Garcia to dissolve into laughter.

"You are right but I guess I'm just a pathological snoopy-nose. So how is our baby?"

"Laying claim to my child now?"

"He or she is part of the family now. Are you going to find out what it is? Auntie Penelope needs to knit some booties and I don't know which color."

"We are undecided on that issue. You may have to go with white or yellow or green. Part of me wants to know and part of me wants to be surprised."

"It would be so good to have a girl in the BAU family. I love Jack and Henry to pieces but oh, it would be so nice to have a little girl. Have you guys thought about names?"

"I refuse until I get past the first trimester and see that everything is all healthy. I just don't want to jinx this thing."

"You worry too much. It's not good for the baby."

"I dare say that this child will be born a certified worry wart given its parents."

"I still think we need to start thinking of how to decorate that nursery and I brought you a present."

Garcia reached into her impossibly large purse and pulled out a rectangular box. Opening it revealed a baby book covered in ivory colored flowers that gave a definite Victorian vibe.

"You didn't need to do this. I can't believe you…"

"There's a lot of room for you to journal in there. I made sure there were places for you to write how this all came about and all of your feelings. This kid better like to read. I hope that's a genetic trait. Is that a genetic trait?"

"How much caffeine have you had today?"

"Enough to keep me going while I watch over my little ducklings. And they are all safely tucked into their hotel rooms. I wish I could say into their beds but I know better than to think they are sleeping like good little boys and girls."

Maggie gently stroked her belly which still failed to betray the growing life within to onlookers.

"At least I know Daddy is safe right now."

"Wow. Reid's a daddy. I mean a daddy to more than felines. He's a real daddy."

"Penelope, he's been a real daddy. Just because she didn't live…"

"I know sweetie, I didn't forget Sonnet. But he's going to be a daddy that reads bedtime stories and changes diapers and gives baths and eventually teaches someone to ride a bike and has to ground someone and wow. It just seems so strange. We've always thought of him as our little baby and now he's having a baby. Well, you're having the baby but he helped make it. So you are really okay?"

"Yes, I love that you care so much but really I am fine. He didn't really do anything wrong. Just take care of him and make sure he gets back safe and if you can help them home sooner I'd appreciate it. I have an appointment soon and I'd like for him to be there to hear the heartbeat."

"I'll do my best."

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	18. Chapter 18

**I decided we needed a happy chapter. So here we go with that...as always please let me know what you think.-J**

"Now I'm no longer doubtful  
Of what I'm living for  
And if I make you happy  
I don't need to do more  
You make me feel, you make me feel  
You make me feel like a natural woman."-Carole King 'Natural Woman'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"No, no, no, no, no."

Maggie was getting ready to leave the house. She turned helplessly to the cats.

"This isn't how it's supposed to be, right babies? Daddy is supposed to be here for this. I can't believe he's not."

She was trying her hardest to not allow the threatening tears to fall. He was still on the case and here she was headed to her prenatal appointment alone. She didn't really have to go alone. Claire surely would have come if Maggie had asked but that wasn't the point. The point wasn't that she was alone; it was that she was without Spencer. But she couldn't wait everything in their lives for his job to allow him to be with her. She would simply have to soldier on.

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Sitting on the table in the exam room, Maggie reflected, not for the first time on the impracticality of hospital gowns and the pathetic nature of the paper sheet that was supposed to fill in coverage. She had often wondered if there were a fire at the office of an OB-GYN, how many of the women would choose to burn rather than go outside dressed this way. She even debated back and forth with herself which she would choose. A fiery death or being seen by firefighters and paramedics trying to cover her lower half with a flimsy cotton gown and a piece of paper wrapped around her waist. It was a tough call. Finally she heard the knock on the door that signaled the impending entrance of Dr. Talman.

"Maggie, it's good to see you again. I was so happy to see that you needed to make a prenatal appointment. I love success stories. Where's Spencer?"

"Somewhere in upstate New York. I forget the name of the town."

"How has this been as an adjustment for the two of you?"

Maggie marveled at how Dr. Talman just kept a rolling conversation going as she went through the entire pelvic examination. Maggie barely realized that it was going on.

"More than I thought it would be. He was hurt on the job and was in a coma for a few days and I found out during that time and he woke to the news. I think it was a bit overwhelming and he was scared about the prospect that his job could take him away and he'd leave the two of us behind. We worked it out though and he is very happy."

"Is he sad he's not here?"

"Yeah, I think so. He's been obsessed with learning the stages of development and he read that we might be able to hear the heartbeat and he was so excited at the prospect."

By now Dr. Talman was finished with the pelvic and had lowered Maggie's legs from the stirrups and flat onto the table. The doctor went over to the chair in the corner of the exam room and picked up Maggie's purse from the middle of her pile of clothes and brought it to her.

"Call, text, whatever and see if he can take a couple of minutes to listen with us."

Maggie eagerly fished her cell out of her purse and quickly texted Spencer. She knew he had been spending a lot of time inside with paperwork and hoped that was all he was involved with. In moments her phone rang.

"My brave knight! You weren't busy."

"Not at the moment, what is it honey? Your text was rather vague."

"Dr. Talman is trying to hear the heartbeat now; I thought you might like to be in on this."

"Oh my God, are you serious, Maggie?"

"Listen."

Maggie held the phone closer to her belly so that Spencer could hear what the Doppler had picked up. She had the phone on speaker and could hear his reaction.

"Morgan, Hotch, J.J., all of you, listen to this."

"Kid, what is that noise?"

Maggie smiled at Morgan's annoyed tone and then at Hotch's answer.

"Sounds like the baby's heart. Is that what it is, Reid?"

She couldn't help but answer on her husband's behalf.

"Yes, Aaron, it is. Dr. Talman says it sounds good and healthy."

When Spencer took his phone off speaker and put it back to his ear, he didn't even attempt to stop the quiver in his voice.

"Thank you, my love. I-I can't even find the words."

"I love you, my prince. Be careful and hurry home to us."

Maggie hung up the phone and just closed her eyes to listen to the constant "whoosh-whoosh" of the baby's, her baby's heartbeat. No, no, more than that, their baby. A smile spread across her face at that thought.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spencer stood stunned in the middle of the conference room the team was working in. He had just heard the heartbeat of his child. A child he created with his love, his beautiful Maggie. He was brought back to the horrid reality of murder and the ugliness of life when Morgan clapped a hand on his shoulder.

"You alright youngster?"

"I am way better than alright, Morgan. My baby has a beating heart. He or she is growing and developing organs and that was the heart beating. How could I be anything other than alright?"

Tears were glistening in the younger man's eyes as he spoke and Morgan swelled with pride for the maturity his friend had gained and with happiness for all of the good finally coming Spencer's way.

"It's hard to think of you as 'super dad' but I guess that's you from now on."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spencer nearly ran up the driveway, he was so excited to see Maggie again. Looking around the living room, she certainly wasn't downstairs at all so he climbed the stairs to find her. First he peeked in the library but she wasn't there so he looked in their bedroom and she wasn't there either. He was very confused, her car had been in the drive when he pulled in so where could she be? He kept walking and finally found her at the end of the hall in the room that had been designated to be the nursery. She was sitting in a rocking chair that he was certain had not been anywhere in the house when he had left for the case. There was a book open on her lap and another pile of books on the floor next to her. Her head was leaned back against the back of the chair and she was humming something he couldn't place. He was pretty sure it was from a musical of some sort but not one that she had ever shown him. He had never seen her so peaceful or at home within herself. He hated to interrupt her but he walked to her anyway. As he neared the rocking chair that she must have purchased in his absence, he could see the book on her lap was a pregnancy book and the ones on the floor were name books. He leaned and planted a soft kiss on her forehead and she stopped humming but didn't jump or tense or in any way display fear or that she might have been startled. She merely smiled and opened her brilliant emerald eyes to meet his gaze.

"Welcome home my darling."

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	19. Chapter 19

"I thought as I thanked all the stars in the sky  
There but for you go I."-'There But For You Go I' from Brigadoon

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Waking the next morning brought a new awareness to Spencer that something was different. It was something he couldn't quite put his finger on and it wasn't bad, just different. He opened his eyes to find Maggie draped across him lazily which was normal but then something about her body language even in slumber was just a little altered. He extricated himself from his wife and made his way to the shower. Upon returning to their bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist, he found the room empty and the bed made. He further noticed that his clothes for the day had been laid out on the bed. He smiled and wondered if this particular action on her part was due to the hormones. Glancing at the clock he saw that he really would have to take the time to ponder that issue later for he had to get dressed and get going or he'd not have time to take advantage of whatever was producing that amazing aroma from downstairs.

Spencer made his way down the stairs dodging the cats who had decided that the steps were a darned good place to sleep. And finally he entered the kitchen where his darling Maggie was swaying to the tune she was humming as she prepared breakfast. Her smile spread wider as she caught sight of him and she sashayed over to him.

"Good morning my darling prince, did you sleep well?"

"I did indeed. I always sleep better in my own bed. Actually, it's that I sleep better when I'm not alone in bed and home is the only place that happens. You did all this while I was in the shower?"

"Well, since I don't have a clone of myself, that's the only logical explanation. You need a good breakfast when you come home. I know you live on coffee and vending machine pretzels while you're gone."

Spencer opened his mouth as if to deny this but then knew that lying to Maggie was never an option so he just smiled sheepishly and sat down to dig into the amazingly large omelet and Maggie's special orange cranberry muffins. She knew those were his absolute favorites.

"Did you put broccoli in my omelet?"

"You don't eat enough vegetables and I know if it's coated with cheese you'll eat it."

"You make me sound like a four year old."

"No, Jack eats his veggies more willingly than you."

"If that's your stand up routine, keep your day job."

"I bet I can find at least six people who would find that hysterical. I could call them. I think they are all on your speed dial."

Spencer merely rolled his eyes at her. She was more playful and not her normal defensive version of playful. Typically her humor was a way of pushing past pain or fear. This was just different. She was different and he had at least finally figured that this was a good different. He finished his breakfast and enfolded Maggie in his arms to kiss her goodbye.

"Too bad you have to leave for work, I could think of so many more fun ways to spend the day."

"Like decorating the nursery or crib sho-"

He was cut off from his train of thought as Maggie ground her hips to his running her tongue down his neck. His breath caught in his throat and he almost decided to call in sick when she pulled back from him smiling.

"I'll see you later then, fare thee well Sweet Prince."

Before he could react to either her actions or her words, she twirled away from him to ready herself for her own day. Spencer stood dumbly in the kitchen utterly motionless until Browning rubbed against his shin and reminded him that he did need to leave.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Reid. Reid! Where are you man?"

Spencer shook his head a bit to clear it and looked up to see Morgan staring impatiently at him.

"Hey Morgan, what's going on?"

"I came here to get that report from you to file with the coroner's reports but you were apparently in, well, I don't know where. I've been calling to you for a good five minutes."

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

Morgan's demeanor softened and he leaned against Reid's desk.

"Is everything okay? It's not like you to zone out that completely."

"I was just thinking about how different Maggie is now, with the baby I mean."

"Is she getting all hormonal or something?"

"I don't know if it's hormones or what. It's nothing bad. I've never seen her this happy or at peace with herself. When I got home, she was just sitting contentedly in the rocking chair she bought for the nursery humming."

"Sounds like motherhood is going to be good for her. I'm glad but is that really what had you so far away?"

Spencer blushed a little remembering what exactly he had been thinking about.

"Not entirely, she, um, gave me something to think about before I left for work today."

"What kind of something might that be, youngster?"

"I think it might have been a preview of coming attractions, so to speak."

"Am I to guess that these coming attractions aren't PG rated?"

"Decidedly not. I mean it's not uncommon for women to have a higher than normal libido during pregnancy. A cross between the larger blood volume and the hormones makes it nearly inevitable and well, she and I have always enjoyed a, um, active, well, you know."

Morgan chuckled and flashed his young friend one of those brilliant smiles he was so well known for.

"So we need to make sure the coffee's on and plenty strong for you from now on."

Reid blushed darker and nodded sheepishly. Morgan clapped a hand on Reid's shoulder.

"See if you can actually focus on some work for the rest of the day, though I can't say I'd blame you if you can't."

And with that, Morgan was away and heading up the stairs to his office and Reid was once again sitting alone at his desk. Looking at his watch, he saw that Maggie was between classes at that moment and decided he needed to hear her voice.

"Hello my darling! How is your day going?"

"Truthfully? I'm having a bit of trouble concentrating."

"Why's that?"

"I would venture to say that it's your fault fair maiden. You filled my head with distracting thoughts before I left this morning."

"Hmmm…Well, let's see here, three more hours and we'll both be home and then perhaps we can do something about those distracting thoughts. For right now, my love, I have a lecture to give. I bid thee farewell."

"I love you Maggie."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Upon returning home, Spencer found a darkened house but with the light coming in through the windows, he was able to see that a trail had been left for him. First he spotted Maggie's bag and a few feet farther was her jacket and by the stairs were her shoes. As he approached the stairs he saw that a few steps up laid her blouse. On the landing he found her skirt and at the top of the stairs was her bra. He continued down the hall and found her panties lying in the doorway of their room.

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	20. Chapter 20

**I was recently reminded of an incident in my own past and thought it fit well into Maggie's world. Lest anyone think this is unrealistic, I wish.-J**

"But all my words come back to me  
In shades of mediocrity  
Like emptiness in harmony  
I need someone to comfort me."-Simon & Garfunkel 'Homeward Bound'

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Spencer walked into the bedroom to a most welcome sight. Bathed in the light from the two bedside lamps was Maggie stark naked. He couldn't help but gasp a little at the sight of her, at the reality that this was his bed with this woman in it waiting for him with that smug look on her face. The corners of his mouth twitched upward.

"Hello Maggie. Have you been waiting long?"

"No, not especially. So those distracting thoughts you were having earlier, did any of them involve me?"

"Um, only all of them."

"Did these thoughts involve you wearing all those clothes?"

Spencer swallowed and shook his head.

"So are you just going to stand there all night or are you going to come over here and show me what you've been thinking about all day?"

He did not have to be asked twice and he quickly shed his clothes and climbed into bed with his wife. What ensued was passionate and tender and exhausting for both parties. As they settled in to each other Spencer's stomach growled and he looked at Maggie a little embarrassed.

"No need for the blushing, dear, I am prepared for this."

Getting up, she grabbed her robe and disappeared from the room to reappear minutes later with a tray.

"We'll just have a picnic!"

There was French bread, cheese and grape juice of the non-fermented variety since the option to that was clearly forbidden for Maggie.

"You truly do think of everything, don't you?"

"I do my best, my love."

Later that night the pair was snuggled tightly together in deep and contented sleep when Maggie bolted straight upright, moaned a bit and vomited explosively. Immediately her tears began to flow and she tried to pull the sheets off of the bed. Spencer had been awakened by the wetness on him and the smell quickly told him all he needed to know about what had happened but he was instantly perplexed by Maggie's reaction. His first thought was that she was perhaps more than just sick because of the pregnancy. He could see enough in the moonlight coming through the window to determine that she was sweaty browed and he wasn't sure if that was a residual effect from earlier antics, if it was because of their snuggled body heat or if perhaps she was running a fever. He reached out to touch her forehead to check for the latter and she flinched and pulled back from him so sharply that she fell off of the bed onto her backside with a yelp. It might have been comical if not for the look of panic and terror in her usually sparkling green eyes.

"No, no…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'll clean it. Just give me a chance and I'll get it all back to right. Please just don't hit me. Please."

As she spoke she scuttled backward until her back hit against the wall next to the window where she all but cowered behind the curtain. Spencer was at a complete loss as to why his wife was in a fetal position naked in a corner of their room terrified of being hit. He climbed off of the bed onto his hands and knees so that he wouldn't seem imposing to her. He slowly crawled over to her and instead of reaching with his hand; he leaned forward until his forehead touched hers. He noticed her trembling was beginning to subside so he wound his arms around her and rocked her gently until she relaxed into him although she was still babbling.

"I'm sorry. I'll clean it. I'm so sorry."

"My sweet maiden fair, you have nothing to be sorry for. You were sick sweetheart, that's not your fault. Come here; let me get you cleaned up."

Spencer pulled her to a standing position and then led her to the bathroom and once she was soaking in the tub he leaned and whispered in her ear.

"I'll be right back darling; you relax and call me if you need anything."

She nodded without focusing her eyes on anything in particular and he almost thought twice about leaving her alone in the tub but he knew that he would hear her if she moved at all. So he went and changed the sheets on the bed and then pulled some nice clean pajamas from her dresser and even pulled a pair of his own pajama bottoms on before heading back to the bathroom where she still sat completely motionless in exactly the same position as he left her. He knelt next to the tub and took up the washcloth and made sure that she was clean before helping her to stand and climb out of the tub. Once she was standing on the bathroom rug, he dried her off and dressed her in the pajamas and then brushed her teeth for her so she wouldn't wake up with stale vomit taste in her mouth the next morning. He coaxed her gently down the hall to their room and helped her into bed where he tucked her in and then climbed in next to her. At first she laid rigid in his arms but slowly she relaxed as he recited some of her favorite poems of Lizzie's. Once he felt sure she was asleep, he kissed her forehead and nestled his own head into the pillow to go to sleep. But his awareness was piqued by a soft coo from next to his head.

"I'm sorry."

"Why do you keep apologizing?"

"I'm just so sorry."

This was even softer and hard to discern through her sniffles.

"Did you really think I would hit you?"

"Y-you raised your h-hand."

"I wanted to check to see if you had a fever. Surely someone has done that for you at some point."

"I never remember it. Thinking back I always figured out myself if I had a fever and got my own medicine. Maybe when I was really little but I don't remember it."

"And if you vomited?"

"I cleaned it. Always. Again, I guess when I was a little baby they probably did but I think they figured once I was seven or eight they didn't have to anymore."

Tears racked her even harder and Spencer thought she was going back to the emotional pain of having such woefully detached parents.

"Sweetie, you have people to take care of you now. I'm here and I want to be because I love you so very much."

She only cried harder and Spencer tried to figure out why. Finally she found words.

"How am I supposed to be any kind of a good mother when I don't even know stuff like feeling a child's forehead to check for a fever? I'm so ill-equipped."

"You are going to be perfect. You love this child and that is what you need more than anything else. I promise you are going to be great at this. Please get some rest now. You need your sleep."

Still sniffling a bit and with a few hitching breaths, Maggie finally gave in and fell asleep.

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	21. Chapter 21

"Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me  
Distracting/reacting  
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection  
It's haunting how I can't seem  
To find myself again, my walls are closing in."-Linkin Park 'Crawling'

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Spencer fumbled for the phone on the nightstand and flipped it open without looking at the display. He was still in a fog but he was aware enough of recent events to know that he should hope that this was not a case.

"Reid."

He frowned as he said this realizing that Maggie was not in bed or even in the room for that matter.

"Hey kid, are we still on for today?"

Spencer exhaled loudly. Had he been holding his breath? It was just Morgan and they did have plans for that day. Spencer had agreed to help Morgan with a project at one of his properties. How could he have forgotten? Oh yeah, he had spent half the night cleaning up after his child in the form of his wife's vomit and the rest of it cleaning up after her parents for the precarious emotional state they created.

"Morgan I'm really sorry but I just can't today. Maggie had a rough night and I don't know what kind of day this is going to be for her."

"What's the matter? Is it the baby? Is everything okay?"

"I'm still a little fuzzy on things right now but I'll talk to you about it later, okay?"

"Sure kid, give Maggie my love, alright?"

"Will do."

Now he just had to find her.

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Spencer first looked in the library as that was a place she often liked to be to soothe herself when stressed but aside from the Siamese cats posing as bookends on the window ledge; the room was devoid of all life. There was no cooking smell coming from downstairs so she wasn't baking herself out of her funk. A thought occurred to him and he padded down the hall to test his theory. Peeking into the room that would house their child he did indeed find her but she was far from the picture of maternal bliss that he had encountered on his most recent return home. He stayed out of her direct sight to observe her for a few moments although he really didn't need to work very hard to escape her notice so far entrenched in her own thoughts was she.

His stomach nearly turned over looking at her. She had been crying so heavily and for such a long period of time that her eyes looked nearly swollen shut; an effect that was made all the worse by her glasses. Her hair might have been in a ponytail at one point but now was nothing more than a mass of tangles. It was bad enough that he knew he'd probably have to call in Claire or Garcia to fix it; either that or she'd be shaving her head in the near future. He had seen her in a hospital bed hooked to a blood transfusion and still had never seen her look this disheveled. Her eyes, what he could see of them at any rate, were wild and distant and she was muttering to herself and wringing her hands and for a moment he had a terrible flashback of his mother's "episodes" he had witnessed as a child. Of course Maggie had never presented with any symptoms or even precursors to schizophrenia so he knew that the parallel wasn't to be drawn and that was a good thing, wasn't it? Of course there was the fact that he still didn't know exactly what was wrong with her and that felt even worse because he had no idea what to do to help. _Come on, Reid, you're a profiler for God's sake. Profile her._ Watching her body language he was overcome with her feelings of anxiety. Well, anxiety was a given with the way she was pacing frantically pausing every now and then to lean against a wall and rock a few minutes until she couldn't contain herself anymore and started pacing again. So what was she saying? He strained his ears to hear.

"I'm sorry little one. I'm so, so sorry. You deserve so much better than me. I can tell already, you are perfect and even if you aren't, you are. Trust me. You don't deserve someone so defective."

She was rubbing her belly and rocking against the wall. Suddenly she started her pacing again and wringing her hands and twisting her wedding rings.

"Ugly, fat, stupid, worthless-no wonder they hated me- God who wouldn't?"

Spencer was starting to get the picture of what was going on with this monologue that was really a dialogue of the sort that he was only getting half of but then she started punching herself in the head and as her arms swung he could see the scratches on her forearms where she had actually drawn blood. He knew he had to act.

"Maggie, honey, please listen to me."

He swiftly went to her side and bear hugged her so that she couldn't cause any more harm to herself. She struggled for a moment and then went limp against his body as if all life left her at that moment, as if her anxiety had been the only thing holding her upright. Spencer allowed himself to sink into the floor with her, controlling the descent so that she would not be hurt.

"What's wrong with me, Spencer?"

Her voice was so soft he wondered for a second if she had spoken at all.

"Nothing is wrong with you, nothing at all."

"Then why Spencer, why don't they love me?"

"I don't think you'll ever know how badly I want to be able to answer that. What I can tell you is that the deficiency lies with them and not you."

"I feel like I'm never going to do anything in my life without a storm cloud over me. I'll always be wrong in some way. I'll always be defective, broken. I try so hard to fix me and I don't know how. I can't find all the pieces and I don't know where they go and it's not fair Spencer. I didn't break me but I'm the only person who cares enough to try to fix me."

"Now there you are wrong. You aren't the only person who cares enough. I care and the two of us aren't alone either. You are so loved and you are so worthy of that love no matter what they told you or made you feel."

"I just can't get their words out of my head sometimes. I try to stay so busy they can't catch up with me but it doesn't always work. And I think I don't always know exactly how abnormal my upbringing was. I really thought that all seven and eight year olds dosed their own Tylenol when sick and cleaned up their own vomit. They didn't hit often but I was so freaked out and I didn't know why your hand was up and coming toward my face. It was the only thing I could think of. I wasn't all awake. I know you wouldn't hit me. I don't want you to think that I really believed that."

"I know. I really do know that you wouldn't think that. I was taken aback at first but I know that you wouldn't think that of me. Hell, you didn't think me capable of hurting you even when I did hurt you."

"When do I get to feel whole?"

"I don't know. You might not ever, I'm sorry. You look so tired. Will you please come back to bed and get some rest?"

"Oh, I have so much to do. There's all that extra laundry…"

"No, no, no I have that under control. You don't even think about that at all. Please get a nap?"

Maggie nodded and slowly made her way back to their bedroom and allowed Spencer to tuck her in. He curled up next to her and softly began to recite The Hobbit into the tangled hair above her ear and smiled with satisfaction as her tension left her and she drifted away into much needed slumber. It was sad that it took her own crisis of confidence to boost his but knowing that he could do something right and helpful for someone he loved made him feel good and useful. Once he was secure in the knowledge that Maggie was getting some rest, he quietly made his way out of the room and dialed his phone.

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	22. Chapter 22

"Thank you for being a friend  
Travelled down the road and back again  
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant."-Andrew Gold 'Thank You for Being a Friend'

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"So, can you help me, or well, her?"

Garcia was standing in the kitchen heating some water for tea and listening to Spencer fill her in on everything that had transpired over the last day or so. She turned and narrowed her eyes at him and slowly the corners of her mouth turned upward.

"Oh my darling boy I can most definitely help the both of you and I will. We're going to need to work together on this though."

"Just tell me what to do. I can't stand seeing her like this anymore. It hurts Garcia. It actually hurts."

"She's sleeping now?"

Spencer nodded.

"I've been getting the laundry done so she doesn't keep obsessing over it. But I would expect her to wake pretty soon."

"Good, I'll see to her. You call Morgan. He called me freaked out and if you hadn't called when you did, you'd have been hearing from me. He's worried sick and of course Claire is now too. You explain and I'll go take care of our little Magpie."

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Garcia watched Reid dial his phone as he headed to the porch and she slowly climbed the stairs with a cup of chamomile tea for Maggie. As she approached the bedroom, she tried to keep her emotions in check. She had gone far too easy on Maggie's parental units before. Of course she was only trying to make sure they didn't cause new hurt to her friend at that time. Now she wished with all her being to be allowed to bring a punishment upon them. Before entering the room, the brightly adorned redhead took a very deep breath to calm herself so that she'd cause no further agitation to poor Maggie. Carefully she crossed the room and sat gently on the edge of the bed garnering only a soft whimper from her friend. Stroking the hair away from Maggie's face, Garcia spoke in a quiet and soothing tone.

"Maggie, sweetie, you need to wake up now. Please honey, I brought you some tea."

Garcia looked down to see two shockingly green eyes staring incredulously up at her.

"Penelope, what are you doing here? Where's Spencer?"

"He's downstairs. He called me and told me what a rough night this had been for you so I rushed right over."

"He shouldn't have called you. I'm fine."

Maggie tried for a brave face and even a small smile but it was weak and it didn't take a profiler to see that there was no heart beneath it, nor was there truth to her words indicating that she was fine.

"You shouldn't lie to friends Maggie Mae. And you shouldn't have kept this level of hurt from me either. I know you aren't used to having friends so learn this for future reference, friends are there to help."

"It's not right, Pen. You lost your parents and I still have mine. It's not right for me to take this to you."

"Reid's right, you are a very silly girl. There is no comparison. I had wonderful, loving parents who supported me and their death was a devastating blow to me but you are just as devoid of parents as I my little chickadee. Actually you have it worse, you never had the kind of family I had."

Maggie sat up with an expression of pure bewilderment and Garcia gasped at the sight of Maggie's hair.

"Oh my little lamb, we have got to do something about your hair before the only choices left are shaving or dreadlocks. Drink your tea and I'll get things set up in the bathroom."

When Spencer made his way up the stairs to check on the women he found them in the bathroom with Maggie sitting on a chair in front of the sink, Garcia was standing over her washing her hair.

"Can it be saved?" he asked as he approached the room.

"It may take every drop of conditioner in this bathroom but I think I can get these tangles out."

At this she turned off the water in the sink and towel dried the nearly matted mess of hair before working copious amounts of conditioner into Maggie's head.

"It doesn't look any better Garcia."

Spencer looked doubtfully at the moppish looking clump of hair on his wife's head.

"That's because I'm not done youngling. Give me a little time to work my magic and I'll have your beautiful wife returned to you in near pristine condition."

Spencer watched as Garcia set to work with what she explained was a detangling comb. He had no idea that there were different combs for different purposes. The things women knew that were completely out of the realm of understanding or even awareness to men would never cease to amaze him. His attention was grabbed by Maggie lifting her eyes to him.

"Is that 'My Fair Lady' I hear?"

He nodded.

"Could you turn it up a bit so I can hear it better?"

His heart nearly leapt at the prospect of there being something he could do to actually make his beloved happy and he scurried off to fill the entire house with the voice of Julie Andrews. He really had thought it was Audrey Hepburn but Maggie had explained to him that while Audrey had played the role of Eliza Doolittle, Julie Andrews had actually done the singing. Apparently someone else had done the singing for Natalie Wood in 'West Side Story', as well; someone named Marni Nixon. Once the entirety of their home was filled with the Lerner & Loewe music, he could hear Maggie's voice rising above it all. She usually seemed such a meek little thing but she could sing loud. When he had pointed this out she had said that she subscribed to the Ethel Merman School of singing. It doesn't have to be pretty, just loud. What he couldn't get her to understand was that it was pretty to him when she sang; no, pretty didn't cover it. It was beautiful because if Maggie was singing then she was happy and if Maggie was happy then Spencer could be happy and that was beautiful. And even better to him right now was the second voice joining in.

"All I want is a room somewhere, far away from the cold night air."

Once he spied the women again he saw that they were actually singing into combs being held like microphones and Garcia was actually making some headway with Maggie's hair. Garcia spotted him and smiled.

"Hey lover boy, how's about you run along now and get us some slushies? Your wife prefers cherry and I would like grape. Be a good boy now and run along."

He bowed deeply as his smile grew even wider.

"As my fair maidens wish."

Garcia giggled.

"I always knew I liked that kid, I just didn't know why before. He happens to be perfect for the best friend I hadn't met yet."

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Spencer was halfway down the front porch steps when he saw Morgan's car pull up. Claire was out of the car almost before it came to a full stop.

"Spencer are you both okay? You should have called sooner."

"We're better now Claire and I didn't know how bad it was at first. Garcia's here, the two of you really didn't have to come."

"Come on kid, you know me better than that. This is a family thing. Where were you off to?"

"I am on a mission from miladies. They desire slushies. Care to join me on my quest?"

Morgan laughed and looked at his fiancée.

"By all means, I'd like blue raspberry."

"We'll be back soon. Maggie and Garcia are upstairs reliving the slumber parties of their teen years."

Claire entered the house and Spencer and Derek were left alone to their quest.

"Does she understand the weight of this yet?"

"I don't know. She always knew they were terrible parents. I don't think she ever grasped the idea that they were actually abusive. She hates being classified as a victim so she's not going to cotton to this very well. I just want her to see that she has a family now; that people love her and she doesn't have to deal with things all alone. She was so happy and contented when she heard the heartbeat. I want that back for her."

"You know we'll all do anything we can."

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	23. Chapter 23

**Hello again. Sorry this has been more delayed than my normal updates. I'm working on four different writing projects right now (only 2 are FF). Plus it was the last week of school for my kids so that kept me busy and these chapters hit home a little more than I am always comfortable with so I am working to not shy away from the honest emotions that need to be conveyed. All of that being said, this chapter and the next one or two as well will largely be on the healing power of family and that family has little or nothing to do with who you are related to and everything to do with who loves you. Please let me know what you think.-J**

"See me  
Feel me  
Touch me  
Heal me."-The Who 'See Me, Feel Me'

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Derek and Spencer returned with the desired cold drinks to the "Grease" soundtrack nearly rattling the windows of the house. Hearing Maggie laughing and singing loudly along caused Morgan to raise an eyebrow at his young friend.

"Don't look at me like that, your fiancée is singing just as loudly as my wife."

And he was right, their women, plus Garcia were taking turns line by line through the song.

"Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee."

"Lousy with virginity."

"Won't go to bed 'til I'm legally wed."

Then the three voices joined together.

"I can't! I'm Sandra Dee!"

"Watch it!"

"Hey!"

"I'm Doris Day! I was not brought up that way!"

The men entered the house to find the living room had been transformed into makeover central. There was make-up all over the coffee table and the entire contents of Maggie's closet as well as clothing that she rarely wore and usually had packed away were scattered across the furniture. Garcia's hair was piled into a rainbow colored beehive and Spencer quickly ascertained that the cause of that was the jars of food colors laid out with all of the make-up. Garcia was dressed in the most bohemian of clothes that Maggie owned but with a tiara perched amid the multi-colored tendrils within the ratted up hair. Claire looked like a runway model but the type of runway model that got stuck with the wild designs that no actual person would be caught dead wearing in public. First there were the hot pants that Spencer was not even aware his wife owned and then it looked as though she was wearing a skirt as a top and belted at the waist. There couldn't have been a string of costume baubles left in Maggie's jewelry box for all that was draped around the poor woman's neck and her hair was teased and sprayed into something that more closely resembled architecture or sculpture than a hairstyle. And neither Morgan nor Spencer was entirely sure what to think of the make-up. Grace Jones in her heyday wouldn't have attempted something so bold. Her eye shadow was done with multicolored vertical stripes and it looked like gold eye shadow was used for her blush.

Though he could hardly tear his eyes away from the oddity that was Morgan's fiancée, Spencer needed to see what had become of his fair damsel and when he spotted her, his breath was taken from him. At seeing him, she had lowered the hairbrush she had been singing into and actually stopped singing altogether. She looked at him with vulnerability and a seeming need for his approval. Her naturally porcelain skin had been powdered to enhance the china doll quality he so often admired and she was shimmering, possibly an effect of the powder used, possibly from some other cause. Her cheeks were a shimmering pink and there were silver sparkling lashes affixed to her own. Completing the image of a painted doll face were shining pink lips drawn into a bow. Her long dark hair had been woven into nearly countless braids that all joined to make an elaborate bun that might have caused jealousy among Greek goddesses. There was glitter or something silver and sparkly in her hair as well and she was wearing what looked like a ballet costume. It wasn't the kind with the tutu that stuck out straight but the kind with the net skirt that fell to somewhere mid-shin and on her feet were the silver shoes she had worn on New Year's Eve. Spencer desperately wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked but he couldn't find words or a voice. Instead he lowered himself to one knee and bowed before her and when he looked up again he found his voice.

"My Lady, I am humbly at your service."

The smile that spread across Maggie's face at this response could have brought light to the deepest winter day in the Arctic Circle. The two other women began to ooh and ahh over Reid's response. Morgan couldn't help but editorialize on the song that they had been singing when interrupted.

"Lousy with virginity, eh? Well there are two men standing here who would swear affidavits to the contrary for two of you."

The women dissolved into hysterical laughter and Spencer could feel the moisture welling in his eyes to see Maggie enjoying herself so.

"Are we allowed in since we are bearing frozen treats?"

Garcia smiled brightly at Spencer.

"Oh my dear, sweet boy, this is your home. It's not a girl's only club."

"I'm not going to end up wearing make-up am I?"

Maggie spoke up first.

"Actually I think you'd look really hot in guy liner."

"Morgan, is there somewhere else we can be, maybe?"

"I'm sure we can find something to do and leave these lovely ladies to their festivities."

He crossed the room to Claire and kissed her before whispering in her ear.

"I hope this isn't a thought for the wedding. You could keep the hot pants for the honeymoon though. I'm glad you're here for her."

And off the men went to find somewhere less estrogen filled and the women set to singing along with yet another song from "Grease".

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Derek unlocked the front door and stepped aside while Spencer entered then closed the door behind them.

"Make yourself at home. You want a beer?"

"Sure," was the reply of the younger man as he plopped himself onto the couch and scratched Clooney behind the ears. Clooney was the only dog Spencer had never really been afraid of and the first animal to have accepted him. The dog climbed onto the couch and rested his head on the man's lap. When Derek returned from the kitchen with two bottles, his first urge was to scoot the dog from the forbidden furnishing but his friend seemed to need the dog at that moment and Derek decided a little dog hair on the couch was a small price to pay for the comfort of his kid brother. Derek sat one bottle down on a coaster on the coffee table before lowering himself into a recliner angled at one end of the sofa. Morgan actually thought for a moment that Reid was asleep as his eyes were closed and his hand merely resting on the top of Clooney's head; that was until Reid sighed loudly letting out all of the pent up tension that had accumulated in his slender form. Morgan had his bottle halfway to his lips when he heard a hitch in the other man's breathing and realized that Reid was crying softly. Derek put his beer down on the table and reached out a hand to place over the one starting to form into a fist in Clooney's hair.

"It's okay Reid."

Spencer's eyes flew open and he dragged his arm across them in a desperate attempt to remove the evidence of his unmanly action.

"I'm fine Morgan. It's just been a tiring day…and night for that matter."

"Talk to me, man. I know there's a lot going on in that super genius brain of yours and I know you'll just wind yourself into a crazy fit if you don't get some of it off your chest. Just talk, we're friends; you can talk to me and you know I am not going to judge you."

Spencer leaned forward and took a long drink of his beer and then sighed.

"I'm so conflicted right now. On the one hand, I'm grateful to understand a little of what she's going through. I understand now that my dad did always love me but I went through a lot of years thinking he rejected me so I understand that pain and well, somewhere between a mother who couldn't take care of herself, much less a child and my intellect, I never really had what you'd call a childhood in any normal sense. Neither did she, it wasn't a luxury afforded to either one of us. But on the other hand, knowing the hurt because I've felt it is worse because it's the type of thing you wouldn't wish on even your worst enemies and to see that pain in someone you love, well…it's nearly unbearable."

"So this is bringing up your hurt along with new hurt for seeing her like this?"

"And anger, there's an awful lot of anger. It's scary to me because I'm not an angry person by nature and it's sort of overwhelming and I don't know what to do with it."

"Now that I can help you with, youngster. Get up, you are coming with me."

"Morgan, I really don't feel like going out."

"We're not 'going out' kid. Trust me. I understand what you're feeling and I can help. I promise I'm not dragging you to a club or titty bar, far from it. Just come with me."

Reluctantly Spencer pried himself out from under the dog and trudged toward the door following Morgan hoping to everything and anything that his friend did really have a way to help him.

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	24. Chapter 24

"So on we go  
His welfare is my concern  
No burden is he to bear  
We'll get there  
For I know  
He would not encumber me  
He ain't heavy, he's my brother."-The Hollies 'He Ain't Heavy'

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Spencer was surprised when Morgan pulled him into the garage.

"Your garage is going to make me feel better?"

"Haven't you ever wondered why my car isn't kept in there?"

Morgan hit the lights to reveal a home gym. Spencer looked at him with great uncertainty.

"Look kid, I know the gym makes you feel self-conscious but here it's just the two of us."

"I hate working out."

"That's because you assume everyone else is judging you and I know I haven't been the best about helping you with that. But this is not about working out. Just trust me. Sit right here."

Morgan gestured to a bench next to a weight machine and Spencer sat down expecting to have Morgan try to put him through his paces on the machine but, much to his surprise, Morgan turned away and began rifling through a drawer in what looked like a tool cabinet. When he turned back, he was holding rolls of white tape.

"Hold out a hand."

A short while later, Spencer sat shifting his focus from his hands to Morgan and back again. He wasn't at all sure what he thought would happen when Morgan brought him into the garage but he knew that never in his wildest imaginings would he have ever thought he'd be sitting in his colleague's garage wearing boxing gloves. He gave another worried look to his friend as he was pulled to his feet and over to a heavy bag which was suspended from the ceiling.

"Mo-"

"Just give it a try. I know the anger. Just hit it. Hit it for the pain Maggie lives with, for the pain you live with. Hit it for the years you lost with your dad and for what schizophrenia took from your mom."

As Morgan spoke, Reid started punching the bag, his punches becoming harder and his breath coming faster.

"Good, good, keep going. Let that anger out. Let out how pissed you were when Gideon left and how l sometimes make you feel like you're a scrawny twelve year old back in the locker room in high school."

Spencer was putting his whole body into every punch, grunting and yelling with every smack of leather against leather.

"Come on kid, there's more, I know it. How about those idiots who tied you to the goal post? And that asshole who raped Maggie, or the creep who stalked her—you must have some anger for them. And get out all that anger and hate for her parents. Let it all out."

Spencer was actually screaming with every punch and tears were streaming down his face as he let his rage flow into every punch. His punches grew weaker as his tears became heavier and finally he collapsed against the bag, grabbing onto it to hold himself up as he cried. Morgan pried the younger man off of the bag and let him cry against his shoulder.

"It's alright man, just let this out. It's just us here, let it go."

When Spencer's tears slowed and he regained some composure, he seemed embarrassed by his earlier display of emotion.

"I-I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for Reid. You needed to get that all out or it would poison you."

"Yeah I've seen you sob like a little girl so many times."

"You haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I've got plenty of anger and hurt to get out and I do. You just needed someone to facilitate this for you. No one ever taught you how to deal before. Talking's great but you are just a guy, sometimes you just need to hit something. Feel free to use the gym here anytime you need to."

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An hour's passing saw Spencer take a shower and change into a spare set of clothes from his go bag and finally settle into the couch in Morgan's living room. For his part, Morgan had been distracting himself from his own emotions by watching ESPN. It's not as if he didn't normally have enough reasons to use the bag in the garage just from his own life. Hell, before he had even met Claire, he was out there at least three times a week dealing with residual anger about his father's death and Carl Buford as well as the emotional fallout from the team's cases. But now he had more added, no, not merely added, compounded, many times over. He truly liked Maggie. She had become like a sister to him and he could genuinely say that he liked her for her own personality and not just for what she was to Spencer. Of course if he was being honest, he decided he liked her on the tarmac the day he helped Spencer off the plane from Ohio after the Stanley Karsten case. Spencer was a kid brother to him. Yeah, he teased the kid but he'd fight to the death to defend him. Derek Morgan was not ashamed to say that he loved Spencer Reid, quickly adding that he wasn't _in_ love with him or anything. But he really did love the man and he only ever wanted to see him happy. The change that Maggie had brought about in Reid's life was nothing short of a prayer answered for Morgan. This day was just such a jumble of emotions and most of them bad and Derek was at a complete loss to sort them. He had never really dealt with the impact of learning that Maggie had been raped, hell, if he was honest, he often dodged dealing with the reality of all that his own fiancée had endured at the hands of her ex-husband. Morgan hated the thought of any harm coming to anyone he loved. He supposed that was a product of being the man of the house at such a young age. Seeing how this all devastated his poor young friend was the proverbial straw though. He really did feel good that he had been able to help Reid release all of those negative feelings but he felt as if they had transferred to him and he wasn't able to unload them anywhere. So lost in his own thoughts was he that he didn't hear Spencer come back in the room and sit down. He just kept blankly staring at the same baseball highlight repeatedly until Reid's voice broke him from his internal dialogue.

"Um, Morgan?"

Derek shook his head and rubbed a hand over his face before looking at his friend.

"Hey, feeling better kid?"

Spencer nodded and looked down for a moment before raising his head again and furrowing his brows to indicate that he had something to say or ask.

"I want you to know that it doesn't make me mad anymore when you tease. It used to. You're right, I used to feel like you were shoving me back into that world where everyone was eight inches and fifty pounds bigger than me and made sure every day that I knew it. It's different now though. I get it. You never meant to really hurt me. I don't know what changed but I feel like I'm in on the joke now. And your teasing was a way of including me, not excluding. I wouldn't want you to stop or anything."

"You're something else, you know that? Every time I think you are the most clueless person on the planet, you prove to me why you are such a good profiler."

Spencer looked about to answer when his phone rang. Morgan turned his attention back to the TV where the highlights were now of college football games.

"That was Maggie. She wants me to come home now."

"How did she sound?"

"Normal. Not overly happy but not sad either, just this odd longing she gets in her voice when I'm away on a case."

"Then I guess we'd better get you home."

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	25. Chapter 25

"Sometimes I wonder where I've been  
Who I am, do I fit in?"-'Out Here on My Own' from Fame

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The drive back to Spencer and Maggie's was quiet until Derek couldn't take it anymore.

"What aren't you telling me?"

"She's not okay. She's trying to sound okay but she's not. It's more than just the sound of her voice that says she misses me when I'm away. There was something really sad and I know it was naïve of me but I really thought this would make things better somehow."

"You had to know that it couldn't be as simple as a grown up slumber party. She's broken into enough pieces that she may never be completely whole. Just know that the two of you aren't the only ones trying to find and assemble those pieces. We all want Maggie to be happy."

Derek stopped the car in front of the home and looked up to see Claire already standing at the curb. Her hair and makeup were still a sight to behold but she was dressed normally again and worry was etched upon her face.

"I don't know what happened. We were singing and talking about silly girl stuff and she just got really quiet and said she wanted you to come home. I thought we were helping her."

"You are Claire. I'm so glad you decided to come over and spend the time with her."

Morgan approached the pair and spoke softly to Reid.

"Do you mind if I talk to her first. I'd like her to know some things and, well, I have sisters, you know?"

Spencer nodded and Morgan strode over to the porch where Maggie was sitting on the swing with her knees pulled up to her chest. She was still wearing the dress but her hair was down and the braiding had caused it to form a halo of waves around her head. Her feet were now bare and she looked like a small child playing dress up. Garcia was standing by the front door wringing her hands. He went to Garcia first.

"She won't let either of us get near her. I just want to help her so badly Derek."

Tears were sliding silently down her rounded and rouged cheeks and Derek couldn't help but give her a big hug.

"I know you have helped her baby girl. I know you have. Do you think you could put all of that stuff away so she doesn't have to think about it later?"

Garcia nodded and went back in the house to clean up the mess their little party had made while Derek walked over to the swing and crouched down in front of Maggie. He spoke very gently as if addressing a child who was lost. In fact it was the same tone he used when he needed to question children who were victims or witnesses.

"Hey princess, what happened? I left earlier and you were smiling and laughing and singing to beat the band and we come back to this. Fill me in."

Her eyes were fixed on the tops of her knees and never wavered as Derek spoke to her. She didn't answer him, just shook her head "no".

"Okay, so I guess I get to do the talking. That's okay, I have plenty to say but first can I sit next to you? I'm not as young as I used to be and my knees aren't going to hold out like this forever."

She still didn't speak but her head bobbed ever so slightly to indicate an affirmative. Once settled next to Maggie on the swing, Morgan continued talking in the same soothing voice.

"I remember when Reid first told me about you. I thought maybe he had a girl but I wasn't sure. The only thing I did know was that he was keeping something from me so in true annoying big brother fashion I teased him and kept asking what her name was. He kept dodging me and then a case came up so I let it drop. We were working the profile and I put my foot in my mouth big time. Normally he wouldn't have said anything, he would have just stewed about it but I guess he felt stronger and he stood up for himself and we got into a little tiff right there. I stormed out like a punk and after a while he came out. He doesn't understand family either and I think he was worried that since we fought that we wouldn't be tight anymore or something. It was then he told me about you. I think he was keeping you hidden because you are everything our job is not. I think he liked having something, someone, away from what we do that he could take refuge in but at the same time he really wanted to tell someone how happy he was and apparently I'm his best friend besides you."

As Derek spoke, Maggie's death grip around her legs loosened and she rested her head on her knees turning her head to look at him. He couldn't be sure but he thought that there was a hint of the shadow of a smile as he said the last sentence. She still said nothing so he went on.

"Once I knew, he felt he could confide in me more. I didn't know every detail of your relationship or anything but I knew how happy you made him. I was really looking forward to meeting you but I sure as hell didn't want it to be like it was. He had shown me a picture of you but it didn't really do you justice. I will never in all my days forget the look on your face when I had to tell you what happened to him. I decided I liked you right then and there. It's funny, at the time I thought it was because you were there to take care of him but I realized it was your essence and how quickly you came to his aid, not just because it was him but just, oh hell, there's no way I'm going to be able to put it into words. I guess I'm just not eloquent like your poets. But I have to say I would have been broken hearted if it hadn't worked out between you two. I'm not sure who I would have chosen to stay friends with and it might have gotten dicey at work. I don't think I've ever been as happy as I was when the kid told me he wanted to propose to you and that includes Claire saying 'yes' to me though that is a close enough second to almost be a tie. Dammit you're killing me here. You're sitting there looking like a fairy princess who is losing her sparkle, like when Tinkerbelle needs everyone to believe or something and you're not talking to me. Please say something to me."

"Don't want to."

Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Is it just me you won't talk to or would you be giving Reid the same silent treatment?"

She just shrugged.

"You really are killing me princess. You're an even tougher nut to crack than my other sisters."

Her head popped up at this and her brow furrowed in question of his words.

"You heard me right. I have two sisters I'm related to through blood and genetics but those aren't the only ones. You, my lovely lady are certainly a sister to me and not just because you married my brother. I know most of the team wouldn't guess it but I am actually a really good listener and it really hurts me when my family is in need. Talk to me princess."

"I've never had sisters or brothers before…or really any family at all for that matter."

"Well, you've got more than you know what to do with now. Rossi sees you like a daughter and you know Reid's folks adore you. Hotch and I look at you like a sister. And you have tons of sisters of your own now. Having you around makes Claire miss Lily a lot less. Those two are really close. Garcia never had sisters before but I know she looks at you like the sister she's been missing. Emily and J.J. love having another woman around to balance the testosterone. You've even got a couple of nephews. You are so loved, Maggie. I know that doesn't make up for everything that your parents did. I know it doesn't fix everything but I also know that we are on your side no matter what and whatever help you need, you only ever need ask."

"Brothers give hugs, right?"

"We are especially good at hugs."

Maggie unfolded her legs and reached over to embrace Derek and he fiercely hugged her back. Looking up through Maggie's hair, he saw Spencer standing there.

"I think your prince wants me to let go of his princess now."

Derek stood and patted Spencer on the back as he walked into the house to see if Claire and Garcia needed any help. Spencer tentatively approached Maggie.

"How are you feeling my maiden fair?"

"Like I should have had something for lunch besides a hot fudge sundae."

"You really do look beautiful. Just like a princess."

"You know, I still don't believe when you say things like that. I guess I just had it drilled into my head too much how fat, ugly and stupid I am. It's all I can see when I look in the mirror."

"Then we're just going to have to try even harder to help you see what we see in you."

"Do I smell food? Is someone in my kitchen?"

"I guess we should go check it out."

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	26. Chapter 26

"You're love is better than chocolate  
Better than anything else that I've tried."-Sarah McLachlan 'Ice Cream'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spencer spent much of the next few weeks on eggshells. He tried not to let on how afraid he was of sparking another meltdown for Maggie, least of all to her; it would have put her over the edge for sure. He wasn't sure exactly how to proceed with her. She was so much more emotionally centered than he was. He truly dealt with most things with logic and scientific method. In fact, Maggie had become his emotional compass. He really hadn't dealt with feelings ever and she made him. He knew he still wasn't good at addressing those irrational things but he was starting to see that there was a bit of rationality to them after all. He could after see the reasoning behind her panic and bouts of depression but he had absolutely no idea how to make things better for her. If he were being honest, he'd have to admit that she was the one that took care of his emotional needs and he sort of bumbled around and hoped that holding her and talking in a soothing manner would do the trick when she was upset. He really didn't have much else in his arsenal. His own anxiety grew every time the team was called away on a case. He hated the thought of Maggie home alone with her demons and ghosts. He made sure that Claire and Garcia were around often to check in on her but even then he worried until he could be home again, even though being home meant feeling even more helpless at not knowing what to do. No wonder people talked so much about marriage being hard. He would have never imagined that being married to a woman who was honestly a walking dream to him would be so complicated and difficult. Most days she seemed alright but he was a profiler after all and he could see the panic that hid just beneath the surface.

"Come in."

Reid walked through the door on which he had just knocked and glanced at his boss before looking uncomfortably at the floor again.

"Reid, have a seat."

Spencer dutifully sat in the chair indicated but hardly made himself at home. Instead he was tensely perched on the edge of the seat staring at his hands with an intensity that indicated he perhaps had never noticed them before. Hotch thought, and not for the first time either, that he really should have spent more time helping the kid learn how to deal with the emotional realities of life. The team was family and Reid was like a favorite nephew or a kid brother and at times even like a son and he cursed himself for being so distant in his position as unit chief that he didn't make the young man feel that he was accessible. Hotch vowed internally to work on that.

"Did you need something, Reid?"

Hotch worked to make his voice soft and caring. He knew that he had that in him and he searched for the tone that he used with Jack and not the one that his agents were accustomed to.

"Yeah, I um, I need to take tomorrow afternoon off. Maggie is having her first ultrasound and um, I-I'd like to be there."

"Of course, there's no problem at all with that. You should be with her."

Hotch paused and looked at his subordinate and saw that there was much more going on and he further had seen the tension in the young man of late. So he found an even gentler tone of voice and forged ahead.

"Reid, is there anything else you'd like to talk about? You seem upset lately. Is there something wrong?"

Spencer looked away and Hotch saw that he was trying to formulate an excuse to leave and not talk about whatever this thing was that was going on.

"I could order you to answer me but I'd much rather think that you understand that I am here for you. I am asking as a friend, I like to think that even though I supervise you that we are friends, so I am asking in that spirit for you to tell me what's wrong."

"Maggie is dealing with a lot right now and I don't know how to help her. I have exhausted everything in my emotional comforting repertoire. I understand why she feels the way she does but she's so on edge and the hormones are amplifying everything."

"Can you tell me what's going on without betraying her confidence?"

"Yeah, I guess. You know that her parents are well, she and they are estranged."

"I gathered as much at the wedding when they weren't there. I asked someone if they were perhaps dead and was told they weren't. What happened?"

"Nothing actually happened. There was no big blow up or one incident that caused them to stay away from each other but her parents were never warm or loving to her. I am only now getting a fuller picture of the emotional abuse and neglect she suffered. It doesn't take much for her to be reduced to a small child wondering what she did wrong to make her parents not love her."

"I'm sure they do-"

"Hotch, I've spoken with her mother and I'd appreciate if you didn't try to defend them. I have a lot of respect for you and I know that as a father it is incomprehensible to you that you wouldn't love Jack but you do not know what you're talking about when it comes to these people. She looks in the mirror and sees fat, ugly and stupid because it's the only image that her parents ever gave her of herself and no matter what the rest of us say, the people who should have loved her for her very existence just don't. And there is simply no getting around that for her."

"I'm sorry, you're right and doing this job as long as I have, I of all people should know that not all parents understand unconditional love or even any love at all. Is there anything I can do to help you or her?"

"I don't know. I feel like I don't know much of anything anymore. There's no book or study to tell me what to do to make things better for her. It's scary not having an answer to a problem or even a method to try to find an answer."

"Life isn't math, Reid."

"That is becoming clearer by the day."

"If there is anything I can do for Maggie, let me know and I know I'm not talking out of turn when I say that goes for the rest of the team. You know we would do anything for you and for her."

"Thanks Hotch."

"And let us know how the ultrasound goes. Are you going to find out the sex?"

"If we can."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spencer looked over at Maggie sitting in the passenger seat absent mindedly fidgeting with her purse strap as they drove to the appointment.

"How are you feeling, honey?"

"Nervous, excited and I really have to pee!"

"I know but your bladder has to be full for the machine to get the window to your uterus and yes I know my college professor tone is unwelcome right now."

Maggie smiled at him.

"Profiler my ass, you are a mind reader Dr. Reid."

"Only with your mind Dr. Reid. We're here,"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dr. Talman entered the room with a smile on her face.

"Spencer, Maggie, how is my favorite couple today?"

"Uncomfortable."

"Yeah, the full bladder part isn't a lot of fun. I'm glad you could be here with us today Spencer."

"Believe me Dr. Talman; I would not have missed this for anything."

"So let's get started so your poor wife can empty her bladder before she floats away on us."

Dr. Talman squeezed the gel onto Maggie's lower abdomen.

"Let's see we are at what, 17 weeks now?"

Maggie nodded.

"So we should be able to identify the internal organs, including the chambers of the heart. And see fingers and toes and if you'd like, we should be able to figure out how you need to paint the nursery. Did you want to know the sex?"

"Yes."

"Alright then let's have a look. Okay right there, see the fluttering? That is, wait…oh, well that explains a lot."

"What is it? Is something wrong with the baby?"

"No, they appear to be just fine."

Both Spencer and Maggie stared wide-eyed at Dr. Talman. It was Spencer who finally voiced the thoughts of the both of them.

"They? Did I hear that correctly? Did you say 'they'?"

"I did. I thought Maggie had been measuring a little bigger than expected but it's early and so many factors can influence uterine measurement, I didn't really concern myself with it but there are definitely two properly developing fetuses in there. The fluttering I was pointing out right there, I am just zooming in on one right now but look you can see the beating of the heart right there."

"Two babies? We're having twins?"

"Okay, I can see that showing you the kidneys isn't going to be as exciting now as it normally might. So let's see about the sex of the babies. Oh there we go, I can, in fact tell that you are going to be the parents of two little girls. No doubt they will be beautiful and brilliant. I'm going to get some pictures printed for you and a disc so you can share with family and friends."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Oh. My. God. Are you freaking serious Magpie? Twins? Twin girls? I see a lot of pink in your future."

"Yes, Penelope, we are having twin girls. You heard correctly. I guess we know how to paint the nursery now."

Once Maggie was off the phone with her friend, knowing that once Garcia knew, everyone in the free world would as well, she sat back down next to her husband who was still in a near catatonic state of shock. After the ultrasound was over, Maggie had fled to the rest room to empty her straining bladder and returned to find Spencer in no shape to drive them home. Now she tried to get through to him.

"Dear, sweet prince, please tell me you are planning to talk again."

"I knew that this was a possibility. I knew that triplets were a possibility even but I guess I never really considered it. I just thought that there would only be one."

"But are you happy my prince?"

"I am many things right now. I am absolutely terrified and intimidated but yes, I think I am happy. How about you my fair maiden?"

"I think I am right there with you for terrified but I am very happy. You know we will have the most amazing daughters."

"I agree. We should probably figure out what to name them at some point."

"Names befitting two princesses."

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	27. Chapter 27

**So, our lovebirds are expecting a pair of blessings. I admit to being a tad bit out of my element with this as I only had one baby at a time but I think that it will be good for them even though there are risks involved. I welcome all feedback to let me know what you think of what's here as well as what you all see happening in the future. We'll see if your thoughts agree with my muses.-J**

"This time I found a keeper, I made up my mind  
Lord, the perfect combination is her heart and mine  
The sky's the limit, no hill is too steep  
We're playin' for fun but we're playin' for keeps."-Garth Brooks 'Two of a Kind Working on a Full House'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pushing a basket through the home improvement store, Spencer looked over at his dear friend and was glad that even though Morgan hadn't been through the whole kid thing himself that he was there to be the big brother that Spencer felt he really needed sometimes.

"Thanks for coming with me Morgan. And thanks for volunteering to help with all of this."

"Hey Pretty Boy, it's my pleasure. Besides, Claire was sort of insistent on coming to help Mags since she does have some experience with sisters having babies."

"Oh no, I think I hear them already. I guess we'd better see what trouble they're getting themselves into."

Spencer wove his way to the paint aisle where they men had left the women to search for the perfect color for the nursery and when he spotted them he found the women red faced and laughing hard enough to not only have tears streaking their faces but physically holding each other for support to stay standing.

"Are you two okay?"

The two women appeared not to have heard Spencer's question and kept on with their conversation which was hard to make out through the laughter.

"Shelby they're pink and pink."

"No, mama, they're blush and bashful."

"They're pink and pink. It looks like the sanctuary was hosed down with Pepto-Bismol."

And the two doubled over in laughter once again. The men merely stared at each other as if each was hoping the other would have the answer as to the reference.

"Maggie, did you find a color you like?"

She blinked and looked at him dumbly and then started laughing again.

"Yeah, um, they're mixing it as we speak. We were just having a little fun with how many shades of pink there are."

"So I gathered. Who's Shelby?"

This garnered another bit of laughter from the women and finally Claire spoke.

"Julia Roberts in 'Steel Magnolias'. Her wedding colors are blush and bashful but really they're just pink and pink."

Morgan leaned over to Spencer and spoke as quietly as he could while still insuring that the young man could hear him over the noise of the store.

"Something tells me we're in for a chick flick tonight."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That afternoon found the women sitting in the gazebo sipping lemonade and looking for baby furniture on Maggie's laptop.

"So how are you doing these days?"

"Mostly pretty well but there are moments and sometimes there are whole days that are kind of tough."

"You know that your parents were and still are full of shit, right?"

"I guess on an intellectual level I do but that's not always enough, you know?"

"Yeah I do. Remember I told you that I was married once before?"

Maggie nodded.

"Well, I play off that we were young and it just didn't work out but that's a huge over simplification. He was an abusive bastard who ended up in prison for what he did to me. I wasn't with him that long but it was enough to make me doubt everything I had ever been taught about my self-worth. To have that negative perspective drilled into your head from day one, I can imagine that believing anything else would be pretty hard."

"What if I'm like them? What if I hurt these little girls the same way they hurt me?"

"You've never been like them in any other way before, why do you think you'd suddenly turn into them now? You already love those little girls more than they ever loved you and you haven't even met them yet. There's no way that love will decrease once they are in your arms."

"You're right. I already love them more than my own life and I know there's nothing that could change that."

"That's really all you need. I've seen some pretty good parenting firsthand, both from my parents and my older sister and brother. You're going to make some mistakes, you are human after all. The important thing is to never let them doubt that you love them. As long as you can manage that, they are going to be happy, emotionally healthy little girls."

"Thanks Claire."

"Anytime hon, so are we going to make the guys watch 'Steel Magnolias' when they're done painting?"

"Yeah, I mean it's not very nice to have them looking at pink walls all day and then subject them to that movie but I think they need to watch it."

"I agree."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later that evening after Derek and Claire had gone home and long after the men had been forced to sit through 'Steel Magnolias' with their sobbing female counterparts, Maggie tidied the kitchen and started a load of dishes. Returning to the living room she instantly noticed the absence of one Spencer Reid and set to looking for him. Peeking out the front door, she spied him and grabbed an afghan from the couch as she moved onto the front porch. Crossing to him, she settled into her usual spot next to him on the swing and pulled the blanket around the both of them and she nestled against him.

"What great mysteries of the universe are you pondering out here my prince?"

"I think I'm still trying to reconcile myself with the whole twin thing. And girls no less. I don't know anything about girls."

"Well, to be incredibly blunt, you don't know anymore about boys…I don't know that either of us do. Hopefully we don't have normal children. We won't have a clue what to do with them."

"I still almost hope they will be normal. You know, so they don't have to deal with some of the crap that we did."

"It's different now, nerds are considered cool. I think those video game, X-station, playbox things are to blame."

"Maggie it's-"

He looked at her as he began to correct her as to the proper names of the game systems when he saw the sparkle in her eyes indicating that she was being silly deliberately. He began to chuckle at her ability to always know when he needed to lighten up.

"You really think I can do this my dear maiden?"

"Of course I do, we'll somehow muddle through this together like we do everything else. I'll freak out about all of the things that freak me out and you'll freak out over all of your normal stuff and we'll each talk the other off the proverbial ledge. And somehow our daughters will grow up and know that we love them and that perfection isn't required since we are so intrinsically flawed ourselves. Hopefully that will help them be more well-adjusted than we are."

"You are so very brilliant, my love."

"And so very cold, my prince, you know that just because today was unseasonably warm for early November, doesn't mean that sitting outside after dark is a good idea. I think we should go inside and snuggle there where it's warm."

"I think that's a good idea. Have you given any more thought to names for our little princesses?"

"Still working on it. I like names that coordinate but without being cutesy like same letters or variations on an obvious theme."

"So we aren't going to be naming them Lily and Rose?"

"As much as I like both of those names, probably not."

"Where is your mind leading you on this?"

"I was thinking perhaps literary characters. Shakespeare or other romantic sorts of work. Perhaps we could raid Jane Austen's character list."

"How about Dulcinea?"

"I think that might be a thought. Even though she's not more than a figment of Don Quixote's imagination, she is the ideal for him and the focus of his courtly love."

"I'm glad we have until the middle of April to figure this out. It could take a while."

"Spencer, you do know that it might not be that long, don't you?"

He stood looking stunned for a moment and then searched his brain for the appropriate information to understand her words.

"You mean because 50% of all twin pregnancies are delivered pre-term?"

"That is exactly what I mean. We need to be prepared for the possibility that they may arrive fashionably early to the party."

"But so much can go wrong if they come early. They might not…"

"Shh…we aren't even going to entertain that thought. I am doing everything Dr. Talman says to stay healthy and I've already made arrangements to not work next semester because of the chance that I may need to be put on bed rest. I will hang onto them as long as I can, my love and they will be fine."

"Oh my God, there's so much that can go wrong. You-you're at so much higher a risk. I didn't even think. I'd been so wrapped up in how I would handle this. You are so much more at risk for anemia and diabetes and pre-eclampsia. The membranes could rupture early or you could start labor and the meds that are used for that can cause your lungs to-to…and then the bed rest can cause blood clots and-and-"

"Whoa there slugger, you need to take a breath. I have one of the best doctors in the area, and by area I mean the entire east coast, taking care of me and of the girls. I just have to do what she says and things will be just fine. Didn't you see the pictures on her walls of all of her successes? Many of those were multiples and a lot of those multiples were larger groups than our little pair of princesses. She knows what she's doing and so far my blood work is coming back just fine. I have not as yet developed any deficiencies or complications and the girls are developing perfectly. They are healthy and only a little small for their gestational ages but that's normal. And so far they are developing at the same rate which is good."

"Did you have another appointment that I missed? Or did she call you?"

"No, that was all told to us at the last appointment. You sort of zoned out after you found out that we had a 'plus one' situation. I actually listened to what was said after that."

"You are so amazing, you know that?"

"Not really, I was just scared and you know that I need information when I'm scared so I took in everything she told me."

"So what can I do? How can I help? Is there anything for me to do?"

"Well, you painted the nursery which was very good because the fumes wouldn't have been a good thing for me and I'll need you to assemble the furniture when I finally decide what to get."

"Is there anything I can actually do for you?"

"I'm sure I'll need to lean on you a bit, figuratively and literally, as this whole process progresses. Mostly I just need you to be strong for me and remind me that we can do this and that I'm not alone."

"But I'm not that strong and you are alone so often."

"But I'm never really alone and you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I just need you to continue to be my brave knight."

"I'm not that brave. I'm really not brave at all."

"Darling, you forget that I know your family, and I don't mean William and Diana. The ones you work with tell me lots of things about you. Penelope specifically told me about a case involving a young man named Owen."

"I was being stupid."

"You were standing up for something you believe in and if you can risk your own well-being for the life of a boy you had never even met, then I know you would fight to the death for me and for our girls. Oh that reminds me, you didn't look at your mail, did you? It came while you were painting but there was this letter for you."

Spencer picked up the envelope and studied it briefly not recognizing the loopy writing or the sparkly purple ink. He opened it and began to read.

_Dear Agent Reid,_

_Maggie said that you might want to know how things are with me from time to time and I thought I'd write you a little note now. My arm is all healed and there isn't even a scar from the cut on my head. School started not long after you got out of the hospital and went home. People asked about my arm but I just told them I fell off my bike. I'm kind of clumsy so they believed it. It felt weird for a while trying to be all normal and care about school stuff after what happened but I guess now it feels like him taking me was what wasn't real. High school was a little scary at first, this being my freshman year and all but I think I like it. I'm doing pretty good I guess. Mostly B's but that's normal for me. The kids are all the same ones I've known forever, except for the upper classmen of course. There is this one boy who I think I kind of like but I don't think he even sees me so it really doesn't matter. There's really not much more to tell you about my life but I wanted you to know that I'm still out here and I guess living the life of a normal teen. Thanks for that, I know I wouldn't be if not for you. You're gonna be a great dad, I think. Give Maggie a hug for me, she's so nice. And if you have time to send a note to me, let me know about the baby when it comes. Thanks again for like saving my life. That sounds so lame to say but you totally did._

_Love, Emma_

Looking inside the envelope, Spencer found a picture. It was just a regular school picture but the pretty blonde girl in it was smiling and it warmed his heart to see her in this light. Maybe he could do this after all.

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	28. Chapter 28

**I apologize most profusely for updating so infrequently lately. There's been a lot on my plate and focus has been hard to find. Anyway my darlings, I hope this chapter is to your liking please let me know.-J**

"She won't recover from her losses  
She's not chosen this path but she watches who it crosses  
Maybe move to the right, maybe move to the left  
So we can all see the pain she wears like a banner on her chest  
And we all say it's sad and we think it's a shame  
And she's called to our attention but we do not call her name  
The girl with the weight of the world in her hands."-Indigo Girls 'The Girl with the Weight of the World in Her Hands'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spencer returned from his first case of December to find the house in the beginning stages of Christmas transformation. Maggie was certainly slowing down with her added bulk of late and it showed in the slow progress of her redecorating. He walked in the door to hear Christmas carols flooding the house and the smell of cookies hanging in the air but his precious maiden was nowhere to be found. He stopped and closed his eyes for a moment and then he heard her voice joining with the voices of Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney as they crooned "White Christmas". She was upstairs. He sighed in relief for as she had been mostly in a good mood of late, she still had her days when she worried him. As he climbed the stairs he called to her.

"Maggie, I'm home darling!"

"In the nursery!"

He hoped with his whole being that she wasn't trying to move furniture or something insane like that but when he found her, she was simply sitting in the rocker folding tiny little clothes and sorting them into piles on the changing table.

"Is this what's known as 'nesting'?"

"No, I think the nesting can be seen in your sock drawer where all of your socks are alphabetical by color. This is just trying to get a handle on what I have and what I need. I have to get a registry ready soon. Penelope didn't want to wait too long to have the shower since, well, you know."

Spencer only nodded. It wasn't her own fears she wasn't facing when she refused to say aloud that the babies might be born prematurely, it was his. She was afraid of another meltdown where he freaked out about the possible complications that could arise and the fact that when he freaked out, he seemed to not be able to turn off his mouth and she really did not want to hear yet again the percentages of preterm babies that did not survive. And she shouldn't. It wasn't good for her or the girls to have her worry about such things. Spencer had read enough studies on the power of the mind when it came to medical matters that he knew she should only entertain thoughts of healthy babies.

He looked at her to see she was finished with the pile of clothes that she had been sorting and was holding her hand out to him. He took her hand and helped her to stand as her belly made it hard often for her to get leverage to accomplish such things. Once standing she wrapped him in her arms and whispered in his ear.

"Could I have this dance?"

His arms found their way around her shoulders which were thankfully not expanding noticeably with the rest of her body and nodded against the side of her head as she began to sing along with the new tune that had started. He wasn't sure which singers these were but he knew the song.

"I really can't stay," she crooned into his neck. And he found he couldn't help but join in.

"But baby it's cold outside."

She giggled, not at his singing but at the fact that he had sung at all but still kept going and by the end of the song, they were both laughing heartily and singing at the top of their lungs.

"Oh baby it's cooooold ooooouuutsiiiiiide!"

"You my dear, sweet, handsome prince have been keeping that voice from me."

"Only because I love you too much to torture you with it."

"Are you hungry? I haven't cooked but I could."

"I think you should sit and put your feet up and let me cook. I am capable, you know. I learned from the best."

"Wow. You studied with Julia Child? I never knew. You shouldn't keep such things from me."

"Crazy, crazy woman, you just sit and let me wait on you."

"I think I could get used to this."

"I hope you do."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I know I asked this when we registered for our wedding too but do we really need all of this stuff?"

"Yes we do. Well, really the girls need all of this stuff and we will use it to take care of them. They need clothes and blankets and, oh it's just endless really."

"I thought that once you picked the furniture that we would be mostly done."

"Not by a long shot, there are high chairs and little bathtubs and a slew more stuff. And it's all stuff that whatever we don't get at the shower, we'll need to buy ourselves because we will need it all."

"This is very complicated."

"Why do you think I have all of those books?"

"I think I should start reading those myself or I'm not going to know what to do when they get here."

"Start reading on flights. With your reading skills, you could read most of them on your next case."

"I think you're over estimating me."

"Nope, you're really that amazing."

Spencer rolled his eyes and then turned to the shelf next to him.

"So babies need their own towels even?"

"These have hoods so you can wrap them right up and get them all dry before they catch a chill."

"And the reason they need their own wash cloths would be?"

"These are smaller and thinner than most others so they don't get too heavy when wet. Remember we'll be bathing little ones that might only weigh five or six pounds at first."

"I didn't really think about that. Now what on earth is this thing?"

"That would be a breast pump. I plan on breastfeeding but this will allow me to express and have you help me with feeding and it will also let me continue breastfeeding when I return to work. It's what's best for them, you know."

"I do know. It also has some health benefits for you as well. It can help prevent breast cancer and it can also help with the hormone fluctuations that occur after delivery and might aid you in avoiding post-partum depression."

"So you have been doing some reading."

"Of course I have. You know me better than to think I wouldn't."

"You're really worried that I'll go off the deep end after the babies come, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't phrase it like that but you do have some history of emotional problems and with the chemical imbalances that are inevitable after delivery, well…"

"I'm scared myself. But I'm not alone. You'll be there for a while and Claire is around and Penelope hardly ever goes on cases with you guys so she'll be around. And Dr. Talman suggested I join the multiples support group. There's a lot of help to be found there. Some of the moms and dads in the group have older kids and are free to help out those who are dealing with the newborns. I think I'll be okay."

"You said dads are in the group too? Do you think I could join it as well? I mean, I know I couldn't go to all meetings because of work but it might be good to hear other parents with the same fears that I have."

"Yes, you can join. I was hoping you would want to."

"I think it would be good. Now what's with all the different kinds of shirts and clothes and stuff? And does every single thing have to be pink?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

At work Spencer tried to focus on the pile of paper in front of him. It was an effort in futility and he sighed loudly. Emily looked up from her desk at the sound with a furrowed brow.

"Everything okay, Reid?"

"Yeah, I think I'm just tired. I think I need to get up and move around."

It was a lie and he was pretty sure his colleague knew it but she chose not to press the issue and for that he was grateful. He stood and stretched a bit as he had been sitting in one spot for quite some time and then he headed off to his true destination. Tapping lightly on the door he waited for a response and when one came, he was inside the office before Garcia could even finish saying "Come in".

"Hey kiddo, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I need to talk to you about something, er, someone I guess is more to the point."

"Is Morgan picking on you again? You know you can give it right back. He's so into the wedding plans with Claire that I think you could find plenty to shove back in his face."

"It's not Morgan or anyone else on the team for that matter. It's Maggie. There's something wrong and she won't talk to me about it. She's burying something and I really need to know what it is but she won't talk, not to me, not to her support group. Is she talking to you? Do you think she's confiding in Claire?"

"The last time I talked to her was a couple of days ago and it was all pretty light stuff. We talked about her shower and baby stuff but like actual baby stuff; like blankets and clothes and furniture and stuff. She didn't mention anything being wrong. Why do you think something is wrong?"

"She's throwing herself into baby plans like she throws herself into projects when I'm away. I know this stuff does need to be done and that there's always the specter of bed rest but there's that frenetic quality that she gets when she's trying to avoid something."

"I do know what it is and I wasn't going to say anything because I thought she'd talk to you but since she's not, I can't have you worried all the time. Everything she's feeling about the girls is bringing up memories for her that she doesn't really know how to deal with. I've been trying to talk to her and so has Claire but she's in full avoidance mode all the time and there's just no getting through to her."

"You didn't think to tell me earlier?"

"I thought she'd open up to you. She trusts you more than anyone else."

"Do you think that she doesn't trust me enough with this?"

"I wish I knew."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Spencer came home to a sense of relief that Maggie was taking a nap. She hadn't been getting the rest that he really felt she needed in her current state. He was glad he wouldn't have to nag her and end up in a quarrel. But he also couldn't ask her what was bothering her so he thought he's put his investigative skills to use and see what clues he could find. If he could get some ideas, perhaps he'd be able to broach the subject and maybe then she'd open up and he could feel more at ease.

Spencer made his way into the attic and searched around until he found the few small reminders of childhood that Maggie allowed into the house. Inside of a medium cardboard packing box he found yearbooks for every year of high school and a few photo albums. He almost felt creepy and like he was over stepping his bounds by looking at the albums and attempting to profile the little girl featured on the pages within. But he knew that it was important and if she wasn't going to tell him, he needed to find out things for himself. He found a chair near the box and began going through the pages of pictures looking for clues. He immediately bypassed any and all posed photos; he knew well enough that Maggie was a master of disguising her feelings so he searched for candid shots where she didn't know she was being photographed. Those were the ones where her guard was down, where she didn't know to hide or put up the façade of the happy, well-adjusted child. What he found told him more than he ever would have wished to know. There is a special sadness that comes from the pain of someone that you love and Spencer was never more aware of that fact than he was looking at the snapshots of his darling wife as a small child.

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	29. Chapter 29

"And all I want is to hold you forever  
And all I need is you more everyday  
You saved my heart  
From being broken apart."-Jim Brickman 'The Gift'

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Spencer sat in a maelstrom of emotions still holding the book of photos in his hands and trying to digest everything and put it all in its proper place in his mind. Realizing that there was just too much to figure out and his head was swimming. He frantically tried to recall if the attic was always this stuffy. He wasn't sure but he was certain that at this moment there was not enough air to maintain healthy breathing. Surrounded as he was by boxes upon boxes of things, he felt as if he was in the giant trash compactor from Star Wars. Irrational as it was, he was becoming more certain by the second that the walls were closing in on him. He was downstairs and outside of the bedroom where his dear pregnant wife still slept before he could even form the conscious thought to do so but still the oppression of the attic seemed to follow and he fled down the stairs pausing only briefly in the living room to leave a note on the small wooden table next to the front door. It read simply "Running errands. Love, Spencer". In truth he had no real errands to run but this close to Christmas he could always hide behind the guise of shopping if questions were asked later. And that was assuming that there was a later. He was so very muddled that he wasn't at all even sure where he was going, just that he needed to get the hell out.

An hour later he was driving aimlessly and decided that he wasn't paying enough attention to the road to safely operate a motor vehicle so he pulled into a coffee shop and soon found himself sitting alone in the deepest corner of the establishment with an untouched cup in front of him and still trying to figure out everything that was running through his mind. At least he could breathe now; the cold winter air had eased that feeling of suffocation. Now if he could only stop the insidious feeling of implosion that was dogging him everywhere he went. He felt as if he suddenly had no internal structure and was about to collapse under his own weight. He was absolutely unequipped to deal with any of the things that were currently in his life. He was an expectant father and that was a scary enough prospect in and of itself. But now there was not just a single baby on the horizon, there were two little girls that he had to raise and protect. Now he was adding the reality of a wife who might not be fully equipped to deal with what was to come either and he knew full well he was not capable of fixing her. In all honesty, there was no one with that capability. If her parents suddenly showed up on the porch professing their love and devotion to her and became the most doting parents in the world, it could not heal the wounds that were within. He should know. The relationship with his father teetered upon and unspoken agreement between the two to talk as little of the abandonment as possible. He sighed and tried to untangle his thoughts. There was a time when he would have had no problem but since Maggie had entered his world; his intellect was inextricably entwined with his emotions, his heart in the completely non-anatomical sense. Normally he loved that change that she had brought to him. He felt it made him more of a complete person and better at his job but at times like this, the emotional center took over and would not work in cooperation with his brain.

Spencer took a small bound journal from his bag and stared helplessly at the blank pages. He hated himself for the thoughts that were forming, thoughts of a farewell letter. It would be one filled with excuses that he knew would never truly explain a thing. Because there was no explanation or excuse for what he contemplated. _"Don't think, my prince, just feel." _He sat bolt upright at her voice and looked around and then realized it was his own subconscious reminding him of something he already knew. She didn't just unleash emotions within him without giving him a map. He knew what to do and even when she was miles away and hopefully still resting in their bed; she had the power to remind him of what he needed to do. Trying to wrangle his thoughts was something akin to jello wrestling an angry crocodile. But his emotions weren't as complex he often found. With a sip of coffee and a deep sigh he closed his eyes for a moment and just let go of thinking and let the feelings come. He braced himself because he knew some of the feelings were sure to be unpleasant.

Spencer found his hand moving a pen across the blank pages of the journal as the emotions crushed him like waves in a storm surge. He knew whatever was written there would be some kind of interesting when he read it back later. The first feeling to hit him was the anger at her parents that came in the form of a blinding rage and he closed his eyes against it and tried to keep his breath steady. He was thankful for the late hour as he was the only patron and the sparse staff seemed much more interested in discussing weekend plans than in the thin, erratically behaving man alone in a corner booth. If they noticed him at all he was probably dismissed as some eccentric writer who was working on an intense chapter. Meanwhile the anger began to ebb and was overtaken by a crippling sadness. He supposed that some who knew him were sometimes saddened by thoughts of his childhood but he gave it little thought. There were pangs of hurt now and then but mostly he knew that whatever he had endured had made him the person he was today. There were times, of course that he longed for the kind of childhood that might have sanded the corners of the square peg that was Spencer Reid and allowed him to slip through the round holes of life. Overall though, he was very pleased with the man he had become, proud even. And he was very proud of Maggie and the way she had come through things as well. She saw it as her mission in life to take the lemons she had been given and make lemonade to share with the world. Spencer rolled his eyes at his sudden propensity for cliché. The sadness persisted and Spencer knew why. It was one thing to know and understand intellectually that hardship brought about growth but watching a loved one actually endure that process was horrifying. He knew he'd better try to get used to it though. His daughters were sure to have their share of trials. Even if those trials were of the more normal variety—being rejected by a boy or passed over for the cheerleading squad—he knew that it would nearly kill him to see either of them in any amount of pain.

He began to feel the clarity spreading through him and realized that all he really had to do was to stop and quit trying to over think everything. He felt better as he left the coffee shop and decided to see if any stores on the street were still open. To his happy surprise, there were quite a few as it seemed the hour was not as late as he had initially guessed. Spencer felt himself drawn into a small and musty antique shop. He wasn't sure why he was there and he further didn't know what he expected to find there but he didn't have a gift for Maggie yet so he guessed it was worth a look. He started by looking into the glass jewelry case.

"Is there something I could show you, Sir?"

Spencer raised his head to look at the man who had just spoken to him and was about to mutter something about just looking when something behind the counter caught his eye and he knew that he simply must get it for his fair maiden. Nothing could have been more perfect in his eyes. He told the man what he wanted but then started to think that the item might not have the intended impact so he looked again at the jewelry and found a bracelet that he knew would look perfect upon the wrist of his beloved and bought it too. His purchases made, he headed out into the crisp winter air and only then did he notice the vibrations coming from his bag. He hadn't even thought about his phone the entire time he had been gone. It could be the hospital about his mother; it could be the BAU calling the agents to the airstrip. It could be Maggie wondering where he was. He fished the phone from the bottom of his bag and looked at the caller ID to see "Garcia calling" across the display. He hit the button and was greeted by hysterical screaming that it took him a few moments to sort through.

"Garcia, calm down. I can't understand what you're saying. Just slow down."

"Reid, I don't know whether to be grateful to hear your voice or furious with you. I got a call from Maggie wondering where you were. She found your note but then you didn't answer when she called and so I started calling too. I even called Morgan to see if you were with him. Where in the hell have you been all of this time?"

"It's a long story and I will share it with you sometime but I needed to sort some things out and once I did I felt better enough to get a little Christmas shopping done. I'm on my way home right now. I'll call Maggie from the road and tell her I'll be there soon."

"Okay," replied Garcia reluctantly, "I'll let you off the hook this time but I expect you in my office first thing tomorrow with a damn good explanation and you had better never do this again."

"I promise. Thank you Garcia."

He dialed his phone and was greeted almost immediately with his wife's harried voice.

"Maggie, I'm okay. I am so sorry I worried you. Are you okay?"

"I am now. Please hurry home."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Yes, I am actually updating this...no need to send a search party. There is a certain amount of chaos that comes with raising teenagers and it sometimes pulls me away from my writing. They can be loud enough to drown out the voice of my muse. I do hope this chapter was enjoyable. Please let me know.-J**


	30. Chapter 30

**Merry Christmas dear readers! I have been tossing this chapter around in my mind for a while now but I felt this was the right time to get myself in gear and get it published. Sorry about the infrequent updates. I have been drowning in the rest of my life and it has been hard to focus. Two special needs teens and working what has been lately almost a full time job plus planning for Christmas and my annual SolstiChristmaChannuKwanzikah party has been keeping me on my toes and not leaving much time to write. In really cool and unrelated news, I have been learning a lot more crochet and have just succesfully made my first ever pair of baby booties. Yay me! As always, I love feedback, even if it's not glowing so let me know what you think. I hope everyone has been having a joyful holiday season no matter what it is you celebrate.-J**

"I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads  
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds  
If you're worried and you can't sleep  
Just count your blessings instead of sheep  
And you'll fall asleep, counting your blessings."-Rosemary Clooney & Bing Crosby 'Blessings'

It was Christmas Eve in the Reid household and it was anything but the jolly, sparkling season that Spencer had come to know. About a week prior, His darling Maggie had gone in for her regular prenatal appointment and it was determined that she would be on bed rest until the arrival of the twins. To her credit his fair maiden had kept a strong exterior until they were in the car and then the tears began. Spencer didn't even have to ask what was causing them, he knew.

As it was, the house had not been decorated to Maggie's standards. They did have a tree and he had decorated it to her specifications but her size and waning energy level had made it impossible for her to do much more than supervise and put ornaments on hooks. There was no constant smell of baked goods and he knew it bothered her greatly that she had been unable to bake her usually gift platters for the neighbors and the BAU team. Once at home from the doctor's appointment, he succeeded in getting her up the stairs and into bed. He made sure that she had a stack of DVD's at the ready. He sorted out her favorite movies that typically boosted her spirits when she was feeling a bit low. And mixed those happy musicals and magical movies with Christmas films. He had lost count of the number of times he had heard Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye and Rosemary Clooney wafting from the bedroom singing of snow and white Christmases. It was her absolute favorite Christmas movie and he was sure it would wear out if she watched it too many more times. But at least it took her mind off of her predicament.

Spencer wasn't sure when her joy had become so ingrained in his world that he couldn't bear to be without it but having spent most of his life missing out on what many would deem normal holidays, he had in a very short span of time become completely addicted to all of the delights of a Maggie holiday. He still never let it show for a moment that he was at all disappointed in the celebration of the season. It wasn't all that hard for him. He was able to put his mind to the promise of his girls someday squealing with delight at the sight of a doll under the tree or perhaps a bicycle. He looked to reading them Christmas stories by the fireside. He knew that this one slightly less Christmas would make possible future Christmases filled with more love and joy than he had ever dared to hope for.

Still, Christmas Eve was difficult for Maggie. She lamented that there would be no going downstairs to open presents by the tree, no homemade baked rolls for breakfast and, to her way of thinking, no Christmas. Spencer simply held and rocked her through her tears until she exhausted herself and fell asleep. He had a plan after all. He had learned long ago, before ever meeting his beloved, that genius had certain benefits. If he couldn't use his mind to save Christmas for this woman who had given him everything he had never had the courage to wish for, then he figured he should just give up his membership to Mensa.

Sleep was not something that Spencer would have the privilege of this night but he knew it would pay off as he stealthily set about Operation: Spencer Saves Christmas.

Morning came and Spencer was very grateful that Maggie's condition kept her from waking at her usual Christmas morning time of 5 a.m. It was closer to 8 in the morning when he crept into their bedroom and climbed into their bed kissing his wife gently on the temple. She stirred a bit and grunted her displeasure at the thought of waking but he persisted.

"Darling, it's Christmas morning."

"No."

"Yes it is. December 25th is still Christmas."

"No, skipping Christmas this year. Wake me up tomorrow."

"But Santa Claus came my love. Please open your eyes and look."

Reluctantly she cracked one of her emerald eyes and what little she saw caused her eyes to fly completely open. All around was a Christmas wonderland. The tree from the living room was set up right next to the bed and dangling from the ceiling were hand cut paper snowflakes. The lights that usually framed the windows and the porch railings were hung throughout the room twinkling like glistening gum drops. She sniffed and looked questioningly at her sweet prince.

"Do I smell cinnamon rolls?"

"I can't even describe how beautiful it is in here Penelope. He must have been up all night doing this. I'm sure Mrs. Claus doesn't have as beautiful or festive a bedroom!"

"So what is the little elf doing right now?"

"Sleeping. He didn't get any shut eye last night at all."

"Now get to the good stuff sister, what did he get you?"

"You know the typical around here. Books, a new stationery set, boring, nerdy professor stuff."

"You are one dull woman. Nothing shiny or sparkly?"

"Does a gold necklace with a mother's pendant for mothers of twins count?"

"Um, duh! Of course it does! How perfect. So is he going to get up soon and whip up a delicious holiday meal too?"

"I think we're going to just order Chinese. He's worked so hard and I have a mad craving for Sesame Chicken."

"Sesame Chicken for Christmas dinner?"

"Hey, I cannot control the cravings of the fetal ones. They want Sesame Chicken, shrimp egg rolls and dumplings. I can't argue with that."

"I cannot believe you would blame your innocent, unborn daughters."

"For as long as I can. Someday they will love that little detail when I tell the tale of the year Spencer Saved Christmas."

"You'd better watch out with that or you'll set their standards so high that no one will ever measure up."

"Little girls should think of their fathers as knights in shining armor and standards cannot be too high for my little princesses."

"I supposed it will filter out the losers."

"You know it. And they are already such daddy's girls. They go crazy in there when they hear his voice."

Once dinner was finished, Spencer snuggled up to Maggie to watch the Alistair Sim version of A Christmas Carol but Maggie paused before hitting the play button on the remote.

"Spencer, my darling prince, you have made this the absolute best Christmas I have ever had. Thank you."

"I am so glad I could make you happy. You've been so sad lately."

"At the risk of sounding greedy, wasn't there another present under the tree? Remember, the one that appeared after you went missing for a while and said you were shopping? I know you were just freaking out, I'm not dumb you know, but still there was a package under the tree and it did say it was for me."

Spencer looked a little uncomfortable. The gift that had seemed to perfect in the antique shop had started to seem less of a good idea as the big holiday drew nearer. He was now unsure of how it would be received and he surely didn't want to risk ruining all the joy that had been accomplished with a gift that flopped. But there was his Maggie, his darling, his wife, the mother of his children with that expectant look on her face and he knew he would have to just hand over the gift. So reluctantly he walked over to her vanity table where he had placed the gift when he brought everything up the stairs and handed the present over to her.

Maggie carefully took the package wrapped in silver paper with a bright blue bow. Gingerly she unstuck the tape and slid the box out of the wrapping. She looked up at him before lifting the lid off of the box and he tried, without success he was sure, to hide his trepidation. Lifting away the tissue paper, Maggie took in the doll in the box. Sure there had been lovelier dolls out there and this one had seen better days. The doll in the box was a true antique. It was leather-bodied and had a porcelain head which was faded with age and careworn. It wore only a nightgown and there were a couple of fingers missing off of one of her hands. With the tenderness that he knew she soon would hold their newborn daughters, she lifted the doll out of the box and gently stroked its head. Then, what Spencer had perhaps hoped but hadn't expected, she pulled the doll close and hugged it.

"She's beautiful my prince."

"I know she's not new or even in that good of condition but she's still a treasure despite what she's been through, much like you."

At this Maggie's eyes started to well with tears, the first tears in quite a while that had not been of sadness.

"How did I ever get a man as wonderful as you?"

"You said hi."

Maggie laughed that musical laugh that certainly must rival Beethoven's symphonies and Chopin's concertos for sheer beauty. And with that Spencer's Christmas was made merry. He found himself smiling and sniggling once again next to his wife as she held the doll and hit play so they could watch Ebeneezer Scrooge learn the true meaning of Christmas.


	31. Chapter 31

"Try to remember when life was so tender that dreams were kept beside your pillow,  
Try to remember when life was so tender that no one wept except the willow."- The Fantasticks "Try to Remember"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Another hospital waiting room, the team had lost track through the years of how many of these they found themselves in and this was as nondescript as the rest. Chairs and a couch in inoffensive neutrals and pictures on the wall that were perhaps supposed to take one to a happy place but they were far too benign to bring about much emotion at all. In fact, Prentiss and Garcia both found themselves more than once thinking of pap smears as these pictures were similar to those sometimes put on the ceiling by well meaning gynecologists to distract women during the yearly pelvic exam. Prentiss often wondered if proctologists put cheesy wildlife pictures on the walls for men having their prostates examined. She sighed quietly to herself knowing that a pelvic exam was the happiest thought she was going to have until some news came. She tried to return her attention to the year old Newsweek magazine in her lap but only found herself reading the same sentence repeatedly with no comprehension at all. Still, she found it made her look calm. 'Yeah Emily, wouldn't want to dispel that myth of you as the great unflappable one', she thought to herself. Hotch was much more practiced at being the great stoic and sat motionless staring at the print of a the sun setting over a random lake as if it were some great masterpiece smuggled out of the Louvre to bring class to this tacky, generic waiting room. External appearances aside, this was killing him as it always did when they found themselves in situations like this.

The other alpha males found sitting to be an impossibility. Rossi discovered that the hallway just outside the waiting room had large windows that overlooked the parking lot. Granted there wasn't anything really to look at but he wasn't naïve enough to think he could distract himself anyway. Leaning on the railing and resting his forehead against the cool glass watching without really seeing the cars pulling in and out of the lot just gave him an excuse to be out of the tension filled room. And, although he held sometimes ambiguous and even ambivalent beliefs relating to his religious upbringing, he still believed deeply in prayer and being off by himself gave him the chance to have a word with the man upstairs. Morgan paced although it might better have been called stalking as he resembled a caged tiger seething as he waits for the return of the one who locked him up. Morgan had never really made peace with feeling helpless and nothing was a more helpless feeling than this. His phone had been confiscated by Garcia after he snapped at Claire when she called for an update, which he didn't have. Despite Morgan's frustrated movement, the room was dead silent save for the occasional "Dammit" from Garcia when she dropped a stitch, which she was doing much more than normal due to her own distraction. At first her hushed outbursts caused the rest to jump and then nervously titter but as the time went on, she was paid no more heed than the pages for various doctors to report to various locations that all seemed to come from the bottom of a well. Collectively the group has lost track of how long they had been there. Logic said hours and surely any of them could have looked at a clock or watch but as far as how it felt, it could have been days or minutes. Time simply lost all meaning when circumstances were as they were.

If anyone had been in a lighter mood, they might have pointed out the irony in the fact that the one pacing the floor was the last to notice the new body standing in the doorway. Rossi had seen the scrubs clad man pass his post in the hall and followed him in. The new addition stood uncertainly in the doorway for a moment as one by one the profilers noticed his presence and looked to him expectantly. The man was clearly exhausted and when he removed the surgical cap, his short brown hair was stuck to his head with sweat. He seemed to be leaning against the door frame for lack of the strength to stand.

"There were complications."

The room remained silent save a small whimper from Garcia.

"There was a lot of bleeding and we had to go in for emergency surgery and a transfusion but they're fine now."

At last Spencer allowed a smile to cross his weary face as he was bombarded with hugs and led to a chair. Later he knew he would have to deal with just how close he came to losing them but for now he would let himself bask in the congratulations of his friends, his family. He became aware of Prentiss' voice above the others.

"Reid, I need some details so I can call J.J. and she can stop freaking out. And I'm sure Morgan has to give Claire a call too."

Spencer cleared his throat and began.

"Aurora Elizabeth Jane was born first weighing in at 4 pounds 11 ounces. She was followed eight minutes later by Charlotte Emma Rose who weighed 5 pounds 3 ounces. Those are actually really good birth weights considering that they are about six weeks early."

Hotch made his way through the clustered team and placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder.

"So how is Maggie?"

There was such tenderness in Hotch's voice that Spencer felt the moisture begin to well in his eyes and before he could answer he had to swallow hard to dislodge the lump that had developed in his throat.

"She's exhausted but I don't think I have ever seen her so happy. All I could think of is how easily I could have lost them all and all she could hear were the cries of our daughters. They were closing her incision when she made me leave and come to fill you all in. We can probably go see her pretty soon. The girls are going to be in NICU for a little bit."

Spencer stuffed the last of the dirty paper plates into the trash bag which was also filled with streamers and various other party remnants—all pink. After leaning out the back door to put the bag in the trash can, he shuffled through the kitchen and filled the food dishes for Barrett and Browning. The cats had adjusted better than he expected them to. The only change they seemed to notice was that the food dishes had to be moved onto a counter once the girls had started crawling. For the most part the cats had been curious about the new creatures in the house and once they figured out that no one was going to kill them or steal their cat chow, they settled into a peaceful coexistence with the twins.

Once the cats were fed and fresh water put into their bowl, Spencer made his way slowly up the stairs. At the top, he paused as if unsure of his next move. A smile overtook his lips as he thought of how similar this was to the first night he spent with Maggie. Sometimes it seemed eons since that night and other times it seemed as though things had happened impossibly fast. An echo of his beloved from that night bounced around his head, "Don't think, just feel." Spurred by those words his feet headed to the nursery where his daughters slept.

He crept into the room and sat gingerly in the rocking chair that was between the two cribs. While Charlotte was a very sound sleeper, he knew the slightest sound would wake Aurora and that would lead to a horrible night. From where he sat, he could see both girls sound asleep and the overwhelming nature of the love he felt for them overtook him. Sure, he knew he would love them. In fact he knew he did love them before they were even born. What he didn't know was how deeply he would love them or how it would change the way he saw every single thing. There were dangers where he had never seen them before and the ones he already knew about were so much more frightening. But there were also wonders where he had simply seen nothing before. It was as if he rediscovered everything as they discovered it, but that wasn't quite right either. It was more like he truly discovered whatever it was. He wondered sometimes if he had previously gone through his life blindfolded. Spencer leaned his head back against the chair and closed his eyes for a moment as he recalled that night a year ago when the contractions came for Maggie and they didn't stop. What was more, the medication couldn't stop them either. He recalled the fear as things went so terrifyingly wrong. There had barely been enough time for the anesthesiologist to get an epidural in place. If not for that, Maggie wouldn't have been awake to hear their daughters as they cried upon entering the world. All hardships were forgotten though as those cries rang out, first one and then the other. For the first few months, life was a blur of diapers and feedings and not ever really being sure if it was day or night, for the girls didn't care which one it was. As they grew, there was more sleep to be had and more time to enjoy the time spent with Rory and Lottie, as they had come to be known. Learning their distinct personalities was a constant fascination for him.

Spencer picked his head up and eased himself up from the chair and walked quietly to the library. On the table next to one of the overstuffed chairs in there was a book. It was covered in a floral fabric of predominantly pink. Spencer sank wearily into the chair and lifted the book as well as the ink pen sitting next to it. He opened it to the first page and quickly read it over to himself.

"To my dearest Aurora and Charlotte, May you never doubt the existence of love or the truth of fairy tales…

The Sweet Prince and His Maiden Fair

Once upon a time there was a prince. He was an odd sort of man and at first glance no one would ever guess that he was a prince or that he also was a knight who spent most of his time on great quests to vanquish evil and those who would harm the people of his kingdom. He was skinny and not very well coordinated. Many would have called him clumsy even and the prince would have agreed with them. But knight and prince he was all the same for it wasn't his sword or great strength that allowed him to chase villains from his lands, but his mind. He was a very intelligent man and knew a great many things. In fact, he sometimes was sure he knew about everything that he truly needed to know. He was not naïve enough to think that he knew all there was to know but he was fairly satisfied with himself. The other thing dear readers ought to know about this prince is that he was very much alone. This in no way is to mean that he was lonely or that he lived in solitude. He had friends; friends that were so close as to truly be family. His friends were fellow knights who went on the quests with him and each had their own talents that helped them in their adventures. The prince thought he was happy when he thought about it at all, which wasn't often. Thinking about feelings and subjective things like happiness didn't fit into the prince's world of facts and numbers. Then one day, quite unexpected—as these things often are—everything changed.

The prince was sitting alone on a sunny spring afternoon reading and minding his own business when he was interrupted by the most beautiful and magical creature he had ever seen. At first he was unsure if the being before him was even human. Surely something this lovely must be more of the mystical but indeed it was a human; a lady to be sure. She was free in a way he had never considered being. Where he knew of numbers and science, she recited poetry and spoke of love and beauty. His quiet existence was suddenly filled with laughter and music, for she seemed to always be singing. He would have thought that he would be bothered by the disruption of his peace and quiet but instead, he found it harder and harder to go even a day without her singing or her laughter that was like soft wind chimes on a warm spring evening. Nothing about her or his love for her made sense to him but he really didn't care, she made him feel happy and alive in a way he didn't even know he had been missing out on.

It would be lovely dear reader, if it could be said at this point that the two simply rode into the sunset and lived in joy and love forever. But stories like this are never without a villain. Many years before the prince met his fair maiden, she was wooed by an evil sorcerer who was so angered by her lack of interest in him that he put a curse upon her. Neither the maiden, nor her brave knight knew of this curse until one day word reached the prince that his beloved was very ill. He rushed to her side and found her near death. It seemed she had fallen victim to the curse. This very wicked spell was this: when she would someday meet her true love and her love for that man would begin to grow as a child within her body, the curse would kill both mother and child. By the time the prince arrived at the fair maiden's bedside, the child, a daughter, was already gone; dead before she had even taken her first breath. There was nothing he could do for their dear Sonnet but his lady still fought to stay with him and he had to help her. The curse was a poorly planned one, as most are, for it could be broken by the power of true love. And so, in time, the maiden recovered and returned to her vibrant self, though with a bit of sadness within.

The prince, while saddened at the loss of Sonnet, was more concerned with how close he had come to losing his love. He finally decided that he simply had to marry her. He sought the most beautiful ring in the land to act as a symbol of his undying love and knelt on her porch. He poured his heart out to her and asked her to be his wife which she happily agreed to. And dear reader, what a wedding it was! It was a day filled with music and dancing, with family and laughter, and most of all, with love. The prince could not believe that this beautiful woman had agreed to be his for all time. He honestly believed that nothing could ever make him as happy as he was on this day and he wished only to be able to make her feel his happiness every day of her life.

This might be where some would think the story might end but it is important to know just how much more was fit into the prince's life. In time the maiden grew sad for want of a child. The curse still very much threatened the life of any child they might bear so the greatest doctors and scientists were consulted to find a way to break this horrible spell and finally their love was once again able to take shape as a growing child within her womb. The prince had never seen his lady so happy for she did indeed glow. Then a day came when the doctor informed them that there was so much love that it had formed not one child but two. If the prince thought he had been happy on his wedding day, well, he must not have truly understood happiness for overjoyed is not a strong enough word to describe how he felt the day that his princesses Aurora and Charlotte entered his life. Every day these wonderful ladies bring more happiness than the serious minded prince would have ever thought there was in the whole world."

Spencer tapped the pen against his lips and smiled a bit before beginning to write just a bit more.

"The fairy tales all begin and end in a certain way but the prince had never really believed in fairy tales. They weren't logical. And he furthermore did not understand the phrase 'happily ever after'. But experiencing life with his lovely wife and daughters, he began to see what it meant. It does not, contrary to popular belief, mean that the characters in the story live a life without trouble or sadness or hurt. It means only that there is enough love between them that the hard times are made more bearable and the happy times happier. The prince still went on his adventures to vanquish evil but looking the monsters in the eye was everyday easier knowing that when it was over he could return home to the ladies that made every day in his life better and he truly lived happily ever after.

The end."

Spencer closed the book and then his eyes for a moment before rising from the chair and heading to his bedroom where his fair maiden lay sleeping, wore out from throwing the most festive first birthday party the world had ever seen. He undressed quietly and slipped under the blankets next to his beloved. She relaxed into him as he wrapped his arms around her and smiled into her hair. It seemed to take no time at all for his eyes to close and sleep to envelop him.

And they lived happily ever after.

The End.

XXXXXXXXXX

**Well, my dear, faithful readers, that is all there is to that. I have to admit I will miss Maggie but her story was told and that was all the resposibility I had. I hope everyone enjoyed the journey and that you all can be satisfied with the ending. As you can tell, I have chosen not to deal with the events of Paget Brewster's final episode in this story. Partly that was because I know not everyone has had the opportunuty to watch and partly because that would have just been too much emotion. I love you all and have been very encouraged by the number of alerts this story has garnered. Please, please, please let me know what you think. I know you are out there! If it were possible, I would send homemade cookies or crocheted hats to all of you but I think you will have to make do with my love and gratitude. When I get off my bum and write that novel, you all will find yourselves in the acknowledgements! Promise!-J**


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